come a happier, spirit-healthy adult. Practice "self-talk."


Give yourself permission to place the pain and hurt where it belongs -- in the past. "I have made a positive decision to place these experiences back into the past. I will not allow myself to be ob- sessed with it or to let the past rule the life I am now creating. I'm no longer that person who suffered. I'm stronger and better, and I deserve happiness. I realize that I am the only one who can create happiness for me."


Overwrite your past.


If you've ever tried to save a new file on your computer with the same name as an older file you were warned that if you continue, the new file will overwrite the old one. The new file will replace the old one, and the "past" file will be erased from the computer's memory. Your brain is a human "computer" and your memo- ries are the files. You need to overwrite the old file and replace it with the new.


Now of course, what happened in the past has happened; there's no getting away from that fact. But you can over- write a bad memory with a good one. In- stead of dwelling on a terrible memory, think of something that happened in your past that made you smile. It might simply be having seen a flower, a baby, or a sunset -- anything that has a hint of pleasantness. A close friend of mine had an unbearable childhood. Truthfully I do not know how she survived all the cruel- ties of that time. Yet she told me that the one memory of those horrible years that


Jan/Mar 2014


tionship with a drug addicted man. But she told me that the one thing she chooses to remember from that time is watching the sun rise one morning and seeing hope in that moment.


"I discard all bad memories and replace it with that beautiful sunrise."


Create an environment of beauty, peace and order.


As an adult you have the power to create how you live your life. An environment of peace and order brings beauty to our


27 Kalon Women Magazine


she allows herself to see is eating to- mato soup after a day at the beach. It made her momentarily happy.


"That's the only thing I permit myself to remember whenever a momentarily in- trusive thought of my childhood comes into my mind. I refuse to allow myself to think of anything else."


A woman I had once interviewed for an article on addicts, had an abusive rela-


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