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Ali Mafi 50 Fifty Gifts


There is only one solution


One of the problems with getting out of a double- dip recession, for whatever reason, is that if we go back into it, it becomes a triple-dip recession; obviously this is far worse than if we had not come out of it at all. I am, of course, speaking from a newspaper’s point of view, because in reality it is actually good news that we got out of it, but then one should never let the facts get in the way of a good bit of scare mongering.


The fact is that times are tough, are not getting any better, and will not get any better until the banks forget their previous screw ups and embark on the same ‘mistake’ of lending anyone who has been on Dragon’s Den, and bankrupt countries, billions of pounds. Yes, I do mean it. We do need the banks to get stupid again because sensible is not a formula for growth when it comes to banks. One must remember that the average bank manager never had enough commercial sense to


run a cake stall at a church fete, and even less so now that they are basically insurance salesmen. It does make me laugh to watch the adverts they put out saying we can help your business grow. They couldn’t make grass grow if you gave them a hundred weight of manure, for crying out loud. If there is someone out there who has had useful commercial advice from a bank, which was not for the benefi t of the bank, please send me the details together with a hard-to-swallow hat. You want a loan, they want you to take out a life policy, give them all your money exchange business, a mortgage on your mother-in-law, etc. I know that rumours are put about by the banks that they are making billions more ‘available’ to businesses, but let me tell you how they do it. They go through all of their business accounts and select the ones least likely to ever use a loan or overdraft, then write to them with the good news that they have qualifi ed for additional facilities. Job done, everyone is happy. They can boast about billions of extra facilities but not actually lend any of it. It was interesting to see how the public react to the current situation by blaming politicians. There seems to be a misconception that a change of government will change anything at all, even when we have hundreds of years of proof that it does not. Politicians change little, if anything. The only way a country gets out of a recession


is by the public starting to spend; it’s as simple as that. Okay, a government loosening purse strings helps, if there is anything in the purse, but if they are just re-arranging the deckchairs on the Titanic then nothing is achieved. The reality is that it’s easy to give broad-brush instructions to various government departments


to drastically cut costs and then sit back and say “job done” when you are not the one implementing the cuts. There is NO doubt that all government departments, such as the MOD, NHS, etc, are ineffi cient and enormously wasteful, but we want it that way. We want to be able to visit a doctor, even when we are suffering from nothing more than a sniffl e. So who can save us from this downward spiral?


Only we can, by adopting a more positive attitude and going for it. The Government will not deal with the large


organisations who cheat and milk us, because they all have their eyes on directorships there. So they may pay lip service to the fact that we are cheated by energy companies and mobile network providers, but that is what it will remain as: lip service. Just look at all these companies worth trillions and making billions who pay virtually no tax, and the argument is if we pursued them they would leave. Well what a shock! They don’t contribute much and suck out resources to send abroad; let them leave. Starbucks is my favourite; they openly claim they


are making hundreds of millions out of the UK to their own shareholders and tell the tax man here that they are struggling. It is absolutely absurd. We all seem to be totally fl ustered about an MP being in a TV reality show. For goodness sake, wake up and smell the cappuccino, they should all be sent there permanently. They can do a lot less damage 12,000 miles away. And while they are away, let’s ask them to sit and


write 2,000 words (that a layman can understand) about what quantitative easing is and its benefi ts!


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