meeting management Victoria Ruttenberg

Anything by Consensus? Inevitably, when I ask a group of people how their group makes decisions, they say, “By consensus.” What I see, however, is oſten something quite different.

W

hen I ask groups how they know when they have reached consensus, they tell me they

just know it when they see it. But here’s what I’ve seen:

› Groups where one or two people dominate the conversation For a while, a couple of other people push back and disagree. But when it is time to make a final decision, everyone caves and adopts the loud people’s position. Then they all go out in the hall and complain about the loud people. › Groups where everyone has lots of conversation about what they want to see happen Then their boss weighs in with his or her thoughts, at which point all other thoughts fall off the table and everyone agrees with the boss’ idea. Then they all go out in the hall and complain about their boss. › Groups where there are robust con- versations, a lot of energy, and many ideas up on flip charts When it comes time to decide what to do with the ideas, the room instantly drains of energy, and the ideas are tabled until some later unspecified date. Then they all go out in the hall and complain that nothing ever gets done.

What’s going on here? According to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, “consensus” means

“general agreement, unanimity; the judgment arrived at by most of those concerned; group solidarity in senti- ment and belief.” My theory is that people have confused the term “consensus” with “friendly.” Since people often want to be

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perceived as good-natured and easy to get along with, they opt for a decision- making process that they think will involve the least amount of strife and will indicate “solidarity in sentiment and belief.” Making decisions by consensus

is actually an involved process that can require taking a difficult, and at times lonely, stance. Only groups and organizations that consciously follow a coherent process actually decide any- thing by consensus. The key component of consensus is

that everyone’s position is listened to and discussed. However, while the con- sensus-based decision-making method requires that everyone be treated with respect, conversations can still become very heated. It can be particularly dif- ficult if you hold an opinion that you think is very important for the group’s well being, but the group does not share your opinion. In that situation, you have an obligation to clearly state and argue for your point of view — and to know when to let it go. Unanimity is not actually required.

What is required is that people agree that they will accept and abide by a decision, even if it is not their preferred decision.

Victoria Ruttenberg is a management consultant, mediator, and former attorney specializing in conflict resolution, retreat facilitation, leadership training, executive coaching, recruitment and retention, and team effectiveness. For more information, visit ruttenbergconsulting.com.

Excerpted with permission from the Ruttenberg Consulting newsletter.

. BREAKOUT

ACT UP, Speak Up Before you say that your group makes decisions by consensus, think about the last couple of significant decisions it has made. Did everyone contribute, or did certain individuals dominate? Was everyone listened to with respect? Did people ultimately agree to accept a decision, even if they were not strongly support- ive? If you answered no to any of these questions, then your group decision-making process is not truly consensus-based.

The AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power (ACT UP) discussion of the differences between voting and consensus is particularly helpful:

Voting is a win-or-lose model, in which people are more often concerned with the numbers it takes to “win” than with the issue itself. Voting does not take into account individual feelings or needs. In essence, it is a quan- titative, rather than qualitative, method of decision-making.

With consensus, people can and should work through differences and reach a mutually satisfac- tory position. It is possible for one person’s insights or strongly held beliefs to sway the whole group. No ideas are lost; each member’s input is valued as part of the solution.

Does Anyone Actually Decide

ON THE WEB

Read ACT UP’s full consensus decision-making document at convn.org/Act-up.

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ILLUSTRATION BY BECI ORPIN / THE JACKY WINTER GROUP