Parenting Is About Connecting!
By Irene Hansen Savarese, M.S., L.M.H.C. L.M.F.T
M
ost parents are concerned about ing how well they are going to perform your child already knows that some-
how well their children are doing outside of the home. thing is going on. The child is better off
in school. We spend thousands for the Ideas to connect to your child on knowing what it is, so that you can deal
best education for our children in the an emotional level: with it together.
hope that they’ll get straight A’s and Get to know your child’s thoughts Be aware of your own expectations.
eventually land high paying jobs. and feelings. Pay attention to what they They might not be what your child wants.
Emotional skills are the foundation communicate. Know their concerns, fears, Try to imagine how it would be to be
for how well we connect with other hopes and dreams. Validate the child’s your child.
people, but they are also the founda- feelings. Remarks like: “That no big deal!” Be especially aware of your own
tion in academic performance such as or “You shouldn’t feel that way!” makes moods and how you deal with emo-
the capacity for abstract thinking and the child discount emotion. The process tions like anger and sadness. How we
problem solving. of expressing and naming a feeling, takes deal with emotion affects our children.
In a newborn, feelings come before away its power to control the child. (*Citation from Joanna Lipari in Psychology
thoughts. “It is the emotional quality Help children recover from shameful Today Aug. 2000, p. 40)
of the relationship you have with your and embarrassing experiences Extended Irene Hansen Savarese is a Licensed
baby that will stimulate his or her brain periods of shame results in a child learn- Mental Health Counselor in Fort Lauderdale.
for optimum emotional and intellectual ing to shut down emotionally. Educated in Denmark as a Clinical Psycholo-
growth.”* Spend time together. Be available. gist, Irene has years of experience as a Psy-
How do we ensure that our children When you are together you are more chotherapist and Group Facilitator, special-
develop emotional skills such as passion likely to get the information you need. izing in Relationship Issues, Personal Growth
for learning and the ability to process, Communicate genuine interest in figuring and Empowerment, working with Individuals,
understand and experience emotions? out how your child thinks and feels. Couples, Families and Groups. www.irenesa-
It all starts at home with the parents. Communicate your own thoughts
varese.com. Please direct questions regard-
How well we are able to emotionally and feelings in an age appropriate way. ing this article to her office at 954.806.2974
connect to our children is in fact predict- If you are having problems in your life, or email at:
irenesavarese@yahoo.com
August 2009 21
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