creates guilt, and oftentimes, anger at others. Unhealthy shame masquerades as our conscience; the difference is that one empowers while the other disempowers. Self-forgiveness is key; don’t judge yourself as a person – judge the behavior and then allow it to guide you in a positive direction.
Take the time and begin to notice how
you speak to yourself when your inner critic comes out. Would you speak that way to someone you love? Give your- self permission for self-compassion. You deserve to be comforted and soothed, even if it is you who is doing it. When you are feeling sad or angry, give yourself the time and space to listen carefully and accept what is. Emotions need to pass through us. When they are stifl ed or misdirected, they linger, oftentimes for months or years, until they can be expressed genuinely.
Grief is a very good example of this.
We have occasion often in life to grieve, keeping in mind that it is not just our loved ones’ passing that brings this forth. Some- times it’s the loss of a friend or relationship, a job, even something as mundane as giv- ing up a bad habit like smoking or bad eat- ing habits. Recognize and accept your grief cycle, no matter what it looks like. There is no right way to grieve except to allow it.
Finally, learn to accept the whole of
who you are. Every “shadow” part of us that we would like to pretend is not there also hides something beautiful, though we can’t see it. If we do not accept our fl aws as well as our strengths, we have crippled ourselves. We are all doing the best we can. The secret to healing and growth is not being perfect; it is completely accept- ing who you are, embracing it, and allow- ing others to see the authentic you, warts and all.
Audrey McMorrow is a licensed therapist (LPC) who is also a Board-Certifi ed Life Coach with a Masters and CAGS in Holistic Counsel- ing. In addition, she has been
trained extensively in Psychosynthesis, a psychological approach that focuses on achieving a synthesis of the various parts of an individual's personality into a more cohesive self. Audrey has a range of experience in working with individuals and groups on the path of personal growth, meaning and purpose. For more informa- tion, visit:
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