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old brown carpet with flooring, Ralph looks at me and balks, “What for? We’re going to eventually sell this place and get a bigger house.” A girl can dream. My kitchen, which is


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also in my living room/ dining room/office, is more convenient than any of my other past kitchens. I can sit and write while baking brownies. To check if they are done, I only have to lean over a bit and pull down the oven door. My refrigerator is covered with lists and photos of my two children — who tell us that we’re cool for living like this. The fridge has room for cheese, vegetables, condi- ments, leftovers, wine and beer, and the freezer has three ice trays and fro- zen shrimp and steaks, and sometimes lobster on the weekends. Other than a little


more closet space and a better spot for the toaster, we’re all set. (I’m on my second one. The first toaster died when three pens fell into it and I, not knowing this, made toast. The one I have now had a large hoop earring fall into it, which apparently didn’t


harm it.) During summer 2016,


our place seemed to be the place for our friends and family to visit — either to see for themselves what the hell we’ve done or to laugh at us. I don’t care. One friend, when hear- ing that we live in our RV,


bike at the harbor, reading books on the beach, and doing a little yard main- tenance. Once a week he starts our house. He shuts all of the


windows, grabs the keys from the hook in the kitchen, and goes out our front door. He passes


The accordion-style bathroom door leaves little to the imagination. Whoever is not in the bathroom turns up the radio or steps outside.


took me aside and tried to council me. “You know, you can


apply for food stamps if you need them,” she whispered as we enjoyed a cocktail one night in Carlsbad. When I informed her that we now make over $60,000, her eyes widened as if to say, “Then why do you live in an RV?” She quickly dropped the subject. Ralph is enjoying his


retirement by riding his HEALTH AND BEAUTY


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through the patio, walks around to the far side, unlocks the door, climbs into the driver’s seat, pumps the gas pedal a few times, puts the key in the ignition, and starts the engine of our motorhome. “L is ten to that


engine,” he always says, smiling his wide smile. As one of the signs we


have hanging in our patio decrees, “Home is Where You Park It.”


— Candice Reed ■


26 San Diego Reader March 30, 2017


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