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WHY WE RESIST CHANGE


quiet the mind and teach us how to tune into our inner wisdom such as mindfulness and meditation. Awareness is key in the process of overcoming obstacles: we cannot change what we’re not aware of. Make an effort to track your self-critical thought patterns so you can counter them. They are half the battle in dislodging resistance.


Acknowledge and name it. Tell yourself, “this is resistance and I don’t like it, but I can and will work with it.” Avoiding resistance and not addressing it creates more, believe it or not, resistance. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to be in full acceptance of it, just be present with it. Acknowledging is neutralizing.


Don’t be perfect. The truth is that our creativity comes from a very deep part of ourselves that doesn’t involve the mind. Don’t overthink things. Have great expectations, not perfectionistic ones. Getting things perfect is not only impossible, it significantly drains our energy, kills creativity and is a massive waste of time.


Go with the flow. It’s been said that what we resist persists. As counterintuitive as it feels it does help to go with it. Resistance is inevitable and a natural part of life whether we like it or not. Going with the flow of resistance doesn’t mean giving up or losing control, it means you’ve acknowledged it and you’re moving forward anyway.


Start with your emotions. Emotions are a highly motivating factor in everything we do and research shows that planning based on how you want to feel is highly effective. Instead of passively accepting your unwanted negative emotions ask yourself, “how do I want to feel?’ If you want to feel hopeful and at peace figure out what you need to do to achieve that emotional state and then plan your action steps accordingly.


Work with a psychotherapist. Working with a therapist can have a profound effect on our ability to self-reflect and gain an understanding of who we are at our core, as well as our triggers and our strengths. Supportive feedback from a skilled professional can help us to develop


“THE TRUTH IS THAT OUR CREATIVITY COMES FROM A


VERY DEEP PART OF OURSELVES THAT DOESN’T INVOLVE THE MIND.”


our “observer within” and be a witness to our own process.


It’s important to note that to get the best result you must take actions steps towards your goals each and every day. Being persistent and consistent is the only way to form new habits and overcome old feelings, thoughts and behaviors.


Good luck. Now get going on creating your new reality!


Donna Ciccone, LCSW, is a psychotherapist, coach and energy psychology practitioner with a private practice in Montclair, NJ. She specializes in traditional and nontraditional approaches to healing mind, body and soul. Her passion is to support her clients in overcoming the challenges they face, connect deeply with themselves, improve their relationships and live an inspired and fulfilling life. www.donnaciccone.com


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