WHY WE RESIST CHANGE
Donna Ciccone, LCSW
CHANGE AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT
WHY WE RESIST
We all know what resistance feels like. We’re all in an ever present state to change our reality in one way or another. Whether it’s increasing our income, up-levelling our career, losing weight, or exercising more, when we’re pushing ourselves to grow and reach new heights, it’s inevitable that we’ll come up against resistance. In The War of Art Steven Pressfield says, “Most of us have two lives. The life we live and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands resistance.”
Resistance keeps us stuck and kills our spirit. It throws us for a loop and causes us to blame and put ourselves down. We get caught in a negative cycle partly because we believe that we lack willpower or we’re not psychologically strong enough, but there’s another explanation. Understanding the how and why of resistance can help free us from self-blame and criticism.
As human beings we don’t like change. Change and uncertainty brings about resistance because we don’t like to be uncomfortable or vulnerable, which is how we feel when we’re moving out of
our comfort zone. Developing new habits requires us to be patient because change is a process and a process takes time.
A habit is formed by repeating a behavior many times over a long period of time, which carves a groove in the brain called a neural pathway. If we want to change that behavior and create a new one, we must be methodical and consistent in our approach otherwise our brain defaults to the neural pathway associated with that same pattern. This takes a concerted effort and dedication, but it can be liberating to know that it isn’t all about lack of willpower or an innate weakness of character.
Here’s what you can do to work resistance so that it isn’t working you:
Map out your goals. Take some time to do this very important first step. Knowing what action steps you need to take and then planning and scheduling them is key in overcoming resistance.
Build your self-awareness. This can be cultivated by practicing techniques that
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