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VALENTINE MR. RIGHT OR MR. WRONG?
IS YOUR by dr. greg cason
He’s hot, he’s hung and he’s hooked on you. Finally, it seems the stars have aligned and you’ve landed a great guy just in time for Valentine’s Day. But
you’re wondering, is this just a convenient infatuation or is he really “the one?” Most of us have had the experience of meeting what we thought was Mr.
Right, only to find out he was really Mr. Wrong—sometimes Mr. Really, Really Wrong—leaving one to wonder how we fell into the trap in the first place? Fear not: First, I am going to explain to you why you fall for the guys you do. Second, I am going to explain how to separate the wheat from the chaff.
LET’S START WITH THE WHY: Look, I know you’re not a dummy. You have eyes and can see the same guy
who everyone else sees. But, like the classic song says, “When your heart’s on fire, smoke gets in your eyes...” Blame the blurry vision on evolution. Lots of unseen factors that go into a budding romance are put there by nature. We have a romantic coding that exists inside of us that leads us to want to be with certain guys and not with others. I call it “Relationship DNA.” In some cases, this can work out very well. You meet someone with similar values, who supports you in your dreams and who you are attracted to physically, emotionally and even spiritually. Sometimes it just all falls into place…Mr. Right’s place. Sometimes however, it leads you into the Mr. Wrong trap and will end up bringing out some of your worst qualities and his as well, leading you to a life of soul-crushing arguments and fully-awake nightmares. How do you tell which is going to be which? First, let me tell you a little bit
about you. Despite your belief that you are in charge of who you fall for and who you don’t, the truth is that you are following a pattern that was set for you long ago with a combination of nature and nurture. You were born with a certain temperament—your animal “nature”—that acts as the clay on which the lessons of life are molded. Primarily, the family in which you grew up, along with other life experiences with friends, school, media, society and an oddball or two along the way creates those lessons, or “nurture.” This nature/nurture combo forms your personal set of desires and guidelines
about what you want in your relationship and what you want in a man. That makes up one’s Relationship DNA. Let’s figure out yours. Try to transport your mind back to when you were a child and think about
how you were at nine or ten-years-old. Now, we are going to focus on qualities of those caregivers you had when you were that age, usually mom and dad.
26 RAGE monthly | FEBRUARY 2017
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