WORKPLACE COLLABORATION
WHAT KIND OF LEADER ARE YOU?
By Dr. Shari Frisinger T
hink back to the best boss you had. What did he or she do that made them the best? How did they propel you to be your best and give that extra ef- fort? Conversely, think of your worst boss. How
did he or she treat you? What did he or she say to you — or was it a matter of how he or she said it? If you are like most bosses, you don’t give this some
serious consideration time. Thoughts might cross your mind about how you could improve or you might even review the discussion or conflict mentally. It might be time to take a few minutes and reflect back on your leadership effectiveness. Think about how often you do the following things. (Use answers of “rarely,” “half the time” or “almost always.”)
1. Act empathetically when a crewmember is under pressure or asks for help?
2. Know what you are feeling or thinking when you are feeling or thinking it?
3. Respect the feelings of others when you are angry, upset, jealous or afraid?
4. Willingly check your emotions and do what’s best for the situation?
5. Pause to assess the other person’s feelings and act appropriately?
6. Criticize with little regard on how your remarks are heard and felt?
7. Listen partially when others come to you with their problems?
These questions can be divided into two areas: awareness of self and others, and interactions with others.
AWARENESS OF SELF AND OTHERS Look at questions 2, 4, 6 and 7. How did you score?
• Know what you are feeling or thinking when you are feeling or thinking it? This is the cornerstone of awareness of self. To take it one step further, determine the ‘why.’ What caused you to think and feel what you did? Was it something someone said or did? Was it because the current situation reminds you of a past experience? Was something or someone else influencing you? It is difficult to interact with others professionally if you are unaware of your thoughts and feelings.
• Willingly check your emotions and do what’s best for the situation? Controlling what you are feeling
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can be difficult. It also takes energy to rein in your anger, irritation, frustration and even excitement. If your initial reaction is to express your anger very vocally and chastise them, taking out your frustration on them, that is energy that can be better directed toward reaching solutions.
• Criticize with little regard on how your remarks are heard and felt? The question that immediately precedes this one is, “Do you know how harsh your criticism sounds?” It doesn’t matter what the situation is — remember that you need to work with that person again. The effect of harsh words does not dissipate immediately. Do it often enough and you run the risk of causing permanent damage to the trust that is the foundation of your relationships.
• Listen partially when others come to you with their problems? This includes scanning e-mails or your inbox, double-checking numbers and looking for something (either electronically or in a hard copy). Most often it is your mind planning your next actions, whether it be your conversation response or steps you need to take to mitigate your perceived damage.
Example: Mechanic Adam tiptoes into director Jason’s office and Jason knows immediately that something is wrong. Jason rises, crosses his arms and feels his anger rising. As Adam begins explaining the situation, including the causes and the current dilemma that he is facing, Jason’s mind races. He is irritated that Adam made that mistake. He is formulating what and how he will tell the executives about the expense and/or delay. He ascertains what actions he will need to take against Adam. Adam knows he made a huge error and apologizes sincerely. It was an honest mistake, despite costing both time and money. From this point, there are two scenarios that can play out:
a.) Director Jason, unaware that his body posture is influencing his anger and his racing thoughts fuel his irritation, lashes out at Adam verbally. In his tirade, Jason does not notice that Adam has taken a step backwards. Adam is remorseful and tries to offer suggestions and alternatives; however, Jason is more concerned with the repercussions he himself will face. This further hinders Jason’s ability to view the situation with a wider perspective.
b.) Director Jason, feeling his heart beginning to race and conscious of how his instinctual reaction will hamper
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