T is is made even harder when, under stress, our minds venture into fi ght-fl ight-freeze mode. I think of this tendency towards subconscious action and fi ght-fl ight-freeze as our trance tendency. We fall into a trance–swayed by all kinds of neural fi ring and habitual patterning and we lose the ability to make proactive, conscious choices.
So how do we break the trance? 1. Be clear about your motivations: If you’re not really sure you want to start working out more or you’d actually rather have a messy car than cart all those containers and papers and gloves and sweat- shirts that collect, then admit that to yourself. No judgment please. Not actually wanting to achieve a certain goal that you think you ought to want to achieve actually helps you on the road to fi guring out what you DO want to achieve. Better to be honest than to continue to fall short because your heart’s not really in it. 2. Take good enough care of yourself so that you maximize your chances for success: Let’s face it. If you don’t get to bed early enough, you’re going to be too tired for morning yoga or morning sex or whatever it is for which you’re aiming. Set yourself up for success as best you can at this point in your life. 3. Practice Mindfulness Meditation: T ere are a zillion and a half research studies that show how benefi cial meditation is. It doesn’t have to be spiritual. It doesn’t have to be for a long time. Mindful- ness meditation is exercise for your mind. It increases our self- awareness which gives us a better chance of being proactive rather than reactive. 4. Pay close attention to your personal warning signs: Do you get a fuzzy, hot feeling before you snap at your kids? Does your heart start to beat harder? Do you hear a voice in your head that says: “I’ll just pay that bill a little later…”? Use those signals as alarm bells!!! T ose are the indications you’re going in the opposite direction from your goals! Take notice! 5. Celebrate small successes and forgive mess-ups: You’re not going to be perfect. If you met your goal one more time this week than last week, you’re making progress. Change is hard AND possible. For all of us. (Yes, you too.)
What can Financial Coaching
Do for You? Find a confidential and non-judgmental environment to learn how to make wise financial decisions.
Allison V. Bishop, CPA Financial Coach
Rachel Weinstein, L.C.P.C., is a psychotherapist and certifi ed EMDR practitioner. She provides couples counseling, cognitive and contemplative therapy, EMDR and mindful- ness meditation services in Portland, Maine. She is the owner of T e Open Heart Space and T e Adulting School. See ad on page 19.
July/August 2016 207.805.8400 Visit
www.allisonbishop.com
for more information Free Initial Consultation
Essential Living Maine 11
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