Tip: Talk about the non-verbal dance
that you both do and start by verbalizing what your assumptions are to the other part- ner. Let the other partner react and respond to the accuracy. The key here is trust and that demands that both are honest with their responses and surrender to the old game of having to be right.
3. Personal Growth “This is a biggie,” says Ragusa. “In retirement all of a sudden you come together again and have a good look at each other after the long haul of raising kids, losing ourselves in our work, and the busyness of life. When you fi rst met it felt like your heads were in the stars; at the doorstep of re- tirement it can feel like you are on different planets. Now what? Who are you? Who am I? It is not uncommon for people to defi ne their identity through their jobs and because of this retirement can bring a loss of identity. The value of work for many is more than fi nancial compensation. Work frequently is a source of self-esteem and purpose. So when we enter into retirement it can mean that a big part of our identity is left behind with our employer.”
To the conscious person there are two
really positive things about this situation: 1. Like all worthy initiations in life we need to fi rst lose ourselves before we can fi nd our- selves. So retirement can be a great oppor- tunity to grow and move through old blocks and deeper into your authentic life. 2. There is no one who knows our “stuff” or who can push our buttons better than our partner. For the unconscious person the partner can simply seem like a nag or pain in the ass. For the conscious person, marital issues can be seen as mirrors for our own work. Although it can be hard to swallow at times, our partner is our most powerful teacher. And in retirement our teacher is ever present.
Tip: Notice what ticks you off the most.
What does your partner do that always pushes your buttons? Next time it happens look inside yourself. Examine how it makes you feel and ask what it is trying to teach you. Consider a tune up session; a coaching session with a qualifi ed retirement couples coach or even a shaman.
4. Financial
Entering into the stage of retirement can increase the tension around money. Life is changing and so will your spending. Will I outlast my money? How and where should I have my retirement money invested? How long will I live? What about the inevitable health care issues? These are all things that
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if not addressed can begin to erode your fun in retirement and eventually begin to put a wedge in the relationship.
Tip: Successful retirement planning
is having a sound fi nancial plan of estate investments and good health benefi ts. Re- tirement planning should include couples discussing their relationship, and what each expectation is regarding their retirement years. Create a living plan either with an online do it yourself tool or with a qualifi ed fi nancial advisor. Plan, but don’t hold on to a rigid budget. Entering into the unknown of retirement will only guarantee one thing, change and the unexpected. Allow your plan to bob and weave with your life and consider a fi nancial coach that is qualifi ed to address retirement income planning.
Watch out for falling into the idea that
the way you invested while you were work- ing is automatically good for you during retirement. Chances are it could be a costly mistake. Discuss the investments with your partner and decide who will continue to take charge and if working with an advisor (or new advisor) needs to be considered.
Get all of your “stuff” in one place. I
was at my dad’s house the other day and I looked into the corner of his offi ce at an old briefcase that I recalled him carrying to work many many years ago and said, “What’s that?” He responded that it is the “death bag”. As a practical scientist and a great sense of humor my dad is more prepared than most.
Lawrence Ford is a Registered Representa-
tive of INVEST Financial Corporation (INVEST), member FINRA/SIPC. All expressions of opin- ion in this commentary refl ect the opinions of the author and not necessarily those of INVEST. This commentary does not constitute an offer to sell or a solicitation to buy any security. IN- VEST does not offer tax and/or legal advice and it is strongly recommended you consult with your legal or tax professional for guidance on your particu- lar situation. INVEST offers securities and is not affi li- ated with Conscious Capital Wealth Management, LLC.
Connecticut resident Lawrence Ford was dubbed the “Shaman of Wall Street” by the Washington Post – he lives in “both worlds”, the modern world of business and the ancient world of wisdom. At Conscious Capital Wealth Management (formerly Ford Financial Group) has helped over 5,000 people with their invest- ment needs since 1989, and as a Shaman Larry helps people wake up and remember they are here for a reason. Lawrence can be reached at:
www.consciouscapitalwm.com - Lford@con-
sciouscapitlawm.com - 860-659-8299 AND at
www.larryford.org. See ad on page 41.
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