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ADRIAN SIMPSON - MONTENEGRO


lot more of what they were saying. Most importantly I could swear in Serbian. We had a period of eight weeks where


nothing happened as the tilers had made such a poor job of the entire house that they blamed the tiles. T e tile shop blamed the tilers and nothing happened at all until I could broker a deal between them. Painters covered all the new fl oors with


paint and couldn’t understand what the problem was, and then we had the swimming pool…I signed a contract that promised a fi nished pool within 30 days. Every day was spent going to the house or


sourcing things for the building project, but we did have some interesting trips around the country to ski resorts and plenty of time at the beach. Nine months and much anguish later we


had a completed pool. And to top it all the guttering and green vegetation started to make perfect sense when throughout the winter and early spring months it rained so hard, for so long, that it felt like it would never stop. If all this sounds like a living nightmare


it’s not Montenegro, it’s property developing. OK, I’ve never had builders so drunk in


the UK that they’ve passed out on the job but wherever you’re doing it, it’s always supremely stressful. Anyone thinking of going there to run any kind of business should be aware that there’s lots of red tape and laws can change daily. I know some good friends who through no fault of their own found it impossible to run a business there successfully. In our case, I’ve not really mentioned the


clueless accountant charging London prices, a Chief of Police who took away my passport screaming that he was going to have me kicked out of the country, my 10-week-old son being critically ill in a Balkan hospital with acute bronchilitis or my brakes failing driving down a mountain. T ere was never a dull moment and very frequently I’d wake up in the night completely overwhelmed by it all. However, once the property was fi nished, €100,000 later and once the builders had


disappeared and once we were leſt to enjoy living there, the whole experience changed. We’d started with a dilapidated apartment above a workshop and ended up with a three-bedroom villa with swimming pool and garden. For a start the sun came out, then we


moved in and immediately decided to hold a British party for our village. I cooked four enormous Shepherd’s


pies and that evening we got to know the wonderful people who we can now call friends: Milos the goat herder, Boris the engineer from the shipyard, Millerad the fi reman and Zdravko the electrician. T ey must have really appreciated the


eff ort because since that night we’ve been accepted as part of the village and they make no bones about telling us that as well. T ey are a gloriously welcoming and generous people and I think they are the best neighbours in the world. I love their straightforward outlook on things and I love their sense of humour. We spent three and half very happy years


there where Kit and Jasper attended school every day and became fl uent Serbian speakers. And even though it’s now fi ve years since we leſt - for the children’s education, amongst other things - it remains a big part of ours, and their, lives. Despite our travails, it has been, and continues to be, a real privilege to own a house there. In the evening we can walk down to the


beach and have a swim or hang out at one of the local bars, or simply go and sit with one of our neighbours on their terrace and while away a few hours looking at the Bay. And despite only visiting there infrequently, the people in the village still make us feel like we’re part of the gang. Us being there is important to them because we made an eff ort to be part of it. Despite all the foreign property buyers,


it’s still a blissfully untouched place with a very basic and beautiful way of life – kids play on their own until way aſt er dark, locals produce much of their own food and think nothing of sharing the sometimes


Below Sveti Stefan. Montenegro


We’d started with a dilapidated apartment above a workshop and ended up with a three-bedroom villa with swimming pool and garden


little they have with complete strangers. It’s evolving rapidly and the country we


fi rst saw is slowly changing. T e glitz and glamour of Budva, which is the Russian party town, was still very much a Serbian tourist destination back then. And the grubby, rusty old Naval yard in


Tivat, is now the go-to deep water marina in the Med and party place loved by Russian oligarchs - Porto Montenegro. But you don’t have to look too hard to


fi nd the very old school and charming old Montenegro and that for me will always be what the country is about. I’m oſt en asked would I do it all again.


T ere’s no doubt that in many respects it was the toughest time of my life: juggling a TV career with property-developing in a foreign country and two young children puts a strain on relationships and can be very challenging at times, but having met the people I have, having seen all the wonderful things and ended with a great house in the best village in the world, the answer is of course, yes. I have enjoyed my A Place in T e Sun odyssey but I have now leſt the show to concentrate on other projects and have currently launched a bespoke speech writing service allspeechesgreatandsmall.com§


The do’s and don’ts of buying a home in Montenegro


DO... •


Get a list of authorized solicitors from the British Consulate.


• Research the forums for ex-pats living there. • Check out where the sun goes – some parts are in shadow nearly all day.


• Verify your land isn’t going to be bisected by the Balkan Highway in the future.


• Take your time – it’s a slow market and plenty of ways to get it wrong.


DON’T... •


Give lump sums of cash to anyone for a service until they have delivered.


• Underestimate just how long it takes to get things done.


• Be tempted to use a builder/solicitor etc as recommended by the estate agent. • Forget your umbrella!


58 | aplaceinthesun.com


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