Suggestions – Active Listening & Nonviolent
Communication First Draft – C. Phillips, Turtle Path MPC, 266 Greenwood St., Worcester 757-9533,
www.turtlepath.org
Basic Conduct
✤ Interruptions undermine trust and understanding; no cross talk ✤ Talk from our own experience, not about others ✤ Listening includes eye contact and body language ✤ Brevity of speech = Power ✤ Wrapping up at your time limit = Respect ✤ Reflect back what you think you have heard and solicit confir- mation of correction
The Anatomy of an I-Statement
“When you say, do, want __________” I feel __________ (confused, upset, concerned, …)” Because I __________ (consequences to me of your behavior)” “So what I would like is __________ (direct request, preference)” Listen-Join-Acknowledge Other’s Point of View.
The Anatomy of Negotiating
1.Name real needs (not solutions) of each party
2.Barnstorm possible solutions 3.Eliminate unacceptable solutions
4.Choose solution
5.Implement – who, what, when 6.Evaluate at future time
Requirements of Building Relationship 1.Feel all your feelings
2.Tell the Truth (your experience as you currently perceive it; that which cannot be argued about, usually a clear statement of feel- ing, body sensation, what actually happened, or what you actu- ally did)
3.Keep your agreements 4.Take responsibility for your own well-being and actions
5.Accept responsibility’s power, responsibility’s risk 6.When possible, exchange power-over and self-power for power-with and a commitment to building understanding in the relationship
7.Commit yourself to empowering people around you, including those with whom you are in conflict
8.Know a needs conflict (tangible). Define problems in terms of needs, not solutions
9.Know when a values conflict (intangible) must continue and how to manage it. 10.If we initiate conflict, we benefit from having a strategy for what to do next.
Questions About Truth-Telling
✤ Are you clear? ✤ Are you sure? ✤ Is there a way to express a more honest, accurate level of
truth? ✤ What is your underlying intention?
34
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50 |
Page 51