LIFESTYLE
CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS – its liberating
by Lindsey Reed I
magine having a flat-mate that constantly criticises you, they nag you, tell you that you are a failure. Not only do they live
with you – they also work with you. They are there in the gym with you, in the pub – everywhere with you. Would you keep them as a friend? No-way!
However often we can be our very own harshest critic, berating ourselves, no wonder people have low self-esteem. As a confidence coach I have worked with hundreds of people who suffered from critical and negative thinking about themselves and then learn ways to change their thinking patterns.
Our confidence is based on the thoughts that we have about ourselves. If a person has positive thoughts about themselves, they will enhance their confidence; however if the person has negative thoughts, these will eat away at their confidence level and the person will develop low self-esteem.
I used to think that my lack of confidence in the past was merely the product caused by situations, circumstances and other people. I didn’t realise that I could create and develop my own thought patterns. What I hadn’t realised was that it was me who was in-charge. It was down to me to gain more
supportive and encouraging thoughts and, as such, more confidence.
When we realise that we own our thoughts, we have the choice as to what we think; to change our thoughts from a negative influence to a supportive one – it’s liberating. That’s the key to unlock the issue of harmful, negative thoughts.
Now I’m not one of those coaches that think we can just make everything positive, because life isn’t positive all of the time, it’s about being realistic.
“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.” Albert Einstein.
Changing our Thoughts
Have you ever tried to stop a thought, only to find that it is more persistent than ever? Many studies reveal that trying to stop may be the start of obsession, rather than the other way around. As a result, we end up thinking all too often about what we don’t want to think about.
Every behaviour of ours has a positive intention. This is what is happening here; our negative thoughts and anxieties are often trying to give us a message, to support us. I have coached many clients that have already tried to change their way of thinking by other
means, however, it seems that they have never considered what benefit
they get from the negative thoughts or behaviour. This gives an explanation of the reason they haven’t changed.
Even though their negative thoughts are so debilitating, the fear of losing the underlying benefit (even if not understood at a conscious level) is stronger than the pain of their problems or limitations.
The solution is to discover your positive intention, preserve and keep this and then you will be amazed how easy it is for you to create new ways of thinking that fulfils your positive intention in a much better way.
Lindsey Reed is an experienced coach who specialises in enabling people to have more confidence in their lives. If you experience times of low self-esteem, self-doubt and lack in confidence, email
Lindsey@glows-coaching.co.uk or call 01832 280168 to see how your personal and working life will be improved.
CIVVY STREET NEEDS YOUR HELP.
If you are about to leave the Forces and have time to spare, come and work as a part-time volunteer for charity. The organisational skills you learned can be of vital importance to the success of a voluntary organisation - and help give you a new lease of life into the bargain! REACH provides a free job-finding service throughout the UK and could find you a satisfying, voluntary opportunity nearby. Write or phone for details or visit our website at
www.volwork.org.uk
reach 89 Albert Embankment, London SE1 7TP
Tel: 020 7582 6543 Registered Charity No 278837
42 Envoy Spring 2014
www.raf-ff.org.uk
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