wisewords
Katherine Woodward Thomas on Drawing True Love Our Way by Debra Melani
LOVE MAGNET A
fter years of expe- riencing love going sour, Katherine
Woodward Thomas set a goal: She would marry her soul mate within a year. Her quest inspired a surprising awakening that spurred her to look deep inside for the key that would unblock love. Thomas realized the transformation that enabled her success involved clear steps that could help anyone. Today, the licensed psychother- apist and relationship expert has guided thousands toward successful relation- ships via her national bestseller, Calling in “The One”: 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life, and subsequent books and seminars.
What catalyzed your Calling in “The One” pro- fessional journey? I was 41, a card-carry- ing member of one of America’s largest-growing groups—the never-mar- rieds. I had bought into the cultural belief that a wom- an my age had little chance of finding a great husband.
I felt anxious and resigned, trying to come to terms with it, but sad inside. Fortunately, at the time, I was part of a small group supportive of each other’s intentions. So I set the outrageous intention that I would be engaged by my next birthday. I also recognized my longstanding pattern of attracting unavailable men who were
engaged, married or alcoholics. A woman in the group said, “Katherine, I will hold that intention with you if you permit me to hold you accountable to be the woman you would need to be in order to fulfill it.” Her wake-up call turned my focus from running out to find love to going within to discover the barriers I had against it. Thus I began what became the Calling in “The One” process.
How does it differ from other approaches to finding love? Many approaches focus on the external reasons love is elusive, such as all the good men are taken, men don’t like powerful women or just not having met the right person. This approach focuses more on the internal reasons—going within to discover and release one’s own conscious and unconscious barriers. For most of us, a gap exists between how much we think we want love and how much we are actually open and ready to receive it. Until we bridge that gap, we will covertly keep love at bay, and won’t even realize we are doing it.
What are the most common hidden barriers to love? One hidden barrier is resentment. We only resent people to the extent that we’ve given our power away to them. Uncover your role in what happened. Even if it was 97 percent their fault and 3 percent yours, zero in on that 3 percent, because you’ll only be able to
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