DVDOF THE MONTH
months back. Korean terrorists took over the White House and Gerard Butler saved the day. It was a huge eggy fart of a film with no redeeming qualities. Yeah? Remember that? Well, guess what: Hollywood has grunted, followed through and sprayed this squirty turd into our laps. White House Down: Te film Olympus Has Fallen could have been. And was. It fails on every level. Te first act pokes you in the eye with so many neon sign- posted set-ups that the only surprise the film has left is how immeasurably shit it’s going to get. Te second act is the cinematic equivalent of having your head
WHITE HOUSE DOWN wrapped in flashing Christmas- tree lights while someone repeatedly tries to surprise you with an air-horn. Finally, the last act plays like a laugh-out-loud parody of itself - a phenomenon I shall henceforth call White House Down Syndrome. Te thing is, it should be a LOT better. Director Roland Emmerich has helmed enjoyable popcorn romps like Independence Day, and the cast contains too much A-list talent to list. It just falls on its arse from the go-get. I think that may be because it takes itself seriously while crashing helicopters into the White House where Jimi Hendrix lives. “Yeah, but is it better than Olympus Has Fallen?” you cry. Well, I’ll say this: If you see one Die-Hard-in- the-White-House film this year, that’s not cool. Jay Freeman
Hey kids, remember Olympus Has Fallen? Yeah? It came out a few
JANUARYFILM RELEASES
01 Jan American HustleA stellar cast including Christian Bale, Bradley Cooper, Amy Adams and Jennifer Lawrence wear big collars and bigger hair as they star in this 70s’ tale of conmen, feds and corruption.
10 Jan 12 Years a SlaveTis true story of an African American slave in pre-civil war USA will be representing Britain at this years oscars. Directed by Steve McQueen (the Shame one, not the Bullitt one) and starring Chiwetel Ejiofor (yes, I did copy and paste that). Powerful stuff.
24 Jan Inside Llewyn DavisHooray, the Coen Brothers are back with this look into the Greenwich folk music scene of 1961. Starring Carey Mulligan, Oscar Issac and Coen stalwart John Goodman, this promises more uniquely character shaped greatness.
29 Jan I, Frankenstein It’s time this classic tale was sexed up for the 21st century. Is it? No, but it’s happening anyway. Taking random pieces and sewing them roughly together to make an unholy amalgam, this film creates a monster on two levels. Aaron Eckhart
stars.Smiley
JANUARYDVD ROUNDUP
06 Jan Insidious 2Te full team that brought you Insidious reunite to bring you this slightly inferior but still jolly-good-fun second instalment. It won’t bring new fans to the franchise, but if you liked the first one, etc…
13 Jan Upstream ColorCanadian auteur Shane Carruth’s follow-up to 2004’s bewilderingly good Primer has been well worth the wait. Be warned: it’s difficult, obtuse and begs multiple viewings, but persevere and you’ll be rewarded with a sensual, cerebral and hallucinatory cinematic treat. My film of 2013, if you’re bothered.
27 Jan RushRon Howard’s exhilarating tale of 1970s Formula One rivalry casts Chris Hemsworth and Daniel Brühl as British playboy James Hunt, and Austrian methodician Niki Lauda. It’s wonderfully scripted, tightly directed and brilliantly acted. Expect Oscar noms out the wazzoo.
27 Jan Mortal InstrumentsA Frankenstein’s monster hastily cobbled together from all the leftover clichés at the back of Stephenie Meyer’s fridge. Seriously, if the ending of the Twilight saga has left such a gaping hole in your tortured soul read some Poppy Z. Brite or Anne Rice. Or anything. You’re welcome. Jay Freeman
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