Superfoods W
ith our resident food writer, Morgan, having last month baked her very best bun in her oven yet – an ACTUAL real
baby boy [huge congratulations, you did it girl] we thought it was only fair we gave her a month off. We’d like to see this particular showstopper challenge on Great British Bake Off. Sue Perkins commentating wryly over Paul and Mary having it away on top of a floured work surface, only to leave Mary bloated, pregnant and crying over a digital timer after nine months would be SERIOUS viewing.
So, in Morgan’s place, we thought we’d address the fact that for a year now, she has been sharing her recipes to satiate your hunger and gleefully stretch your waistline and cooking knowledge, but we’ve done little to tell you how to effectively bounce the calories off again.
If you spent Christmas attacking the fridge like Nigella [my one true leader and unrequited love], sashaying down the stairs at midnight, half-baked and enrobed in silky dressing gown, chances are you weigh roughly 28 pounds more than you did at the beginning of December. Over these next two pages, we’ll attempt to motivate you into shedding a few pounds.
Please don’t think that this feature comes from the perspective of a judgmental, smug fit person. In fact, when I mentioned I was writing a page about getting fit in January, my other half let out a bellowing, “YOU?” So we’re all in this together. My own flirtation with the gym lasted about two months before I got married, and I NEVER experienced the exhilarating rush that ‘those’ gym people talk about. If that’s a rush, they’ve clearly never completed the challenge of watching a season of Breaking Bad in one day. In your pants.
A little caviat before you read further on: I’m about to give you food advice. Tere’s a reason why every month, Morgan usually doles out the recipes, and I merely eat everything, because my own consideration for calorie intake, safe food prep procedures and culinary expertise fall heavy on the side of shit-for-brains. I have often let sheer curiosity allow me to eat something from a can that expired when shell suits were an accepted form of leisurewear. SO, I’ve done a bit of trawling on Pinterest for the ultimate healthy smoothie, but before you go rushing out to drink it, take my advice with a pinch of salt. And potentially some Pepto Bismol as well.
Kale is a commonly considered ‘superfood’; there really hasn’t been anything so green and powerful since Eric Bana got a little testy in Te Hulk. But, it’s part of the Brassica family of veg… y’know, broccoli, sprouts, cauliflower – so it’s not the kind of sweet delight you want to go aimlessly liquefying and tipping down your neck. Te trick with kale is to think of it the same way you did trying to sneak your first boyfriend out the back door without your mum seeing. A good blender [the Vitamix range is one of the MacDaddies of the industry, but has a hefty price tag of around £500] is the equivalent of a distracting phone call here, as you can pulverise it along with a tonne of better tasting stuff. See the recipes on the right to start introducing kale into your diet.
If you haven’t got the cash to fork out on a mega-blender though, or the inclination to spend half your weekend in the fruit and veg aisle of Morrisons, Finnie’s Juice Bar on Lower Goat Lane is a no-brainer for finding a fruity pick me up. Finnie’s has a regular açai berry smoothie, which is another in the dream team of superfoods.
THERE’S AN APP FOR THAT
With examples such as Poo Log that monitors the frequency of your bowel movements, or Passion, which tracks your time and movement under the sheets during sexy time – it’s clear that there really is an app for everything. For first time fitness amateurs, try the officialCouch-to-5Kapp by Active Network, Inc. Tis is the app that appreciates that for you, fitness has only ever come in the form of stretching to get the marooned packet of emergency Tunnocks wafer biscuits at the back of your cupboard. With the patented process of getting you firstly just off your arse, and then towards some kind of vigorous movement, and eventually towards being a 5K runner, it’s proven a hit with many, making it the winner of the 2012 Appy Award for best Healthcare & Fitness App. It tells you EXACTLY what to do, and acts as a trainer, keeping you motivated (appaz). Tis is the kind of direction I need. I might possibly need someone to tell me exactly what to wear for such occasions and how to run without looking like you’ve accidentally slipped a post- Christmas yule log out your back passage.
Next up is the7-Minute Workout Challenge. Downloaders have made it the best-selling Health & Fitness app in over 20 countries, which is high praise. It’s a Ronseal kind of app, and the 7-minute notion will appeal to those of you that have five unfinished books by your bed. Even YOU, oh flighty one can concentrate for 7 minutes.
KALE AND PEAR GREEN SMOOTHIE Recipe from
www.vitamix.com via Pinterest. 120 ml water 1 cup green grapes 1 orange, peeled, halved 1/2 ripe pear, seeded, halved 1 small to medium size banana, peeled 70g kale 480 ml ice cubes
PALEO AND GLUTEN-FREE SMOOTHIE Recipe from
Catch-88.com, via Pinterest 1 handful of fresh kale 1 handful of fresh spinach 1 pear 1 tablespoon raw almond butter 1/2 tablespoon coconut oil 1/3 cup unsweetened almond milk
14 /January 2014/
outlineonline.co.uk
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