free membership, or have fully walked down the aisle with one and signed yourself up for a 12-month contract with a gym. Woah, you’re a brave one. Assuming that you’ve made the precautionary measures of buying some unforgiving lycra and Googled “How to lift 35kg without sharting”, you, my friend, are ready for fitness. It’s not for me to say what makes a good routine for you, or even try and explain my way through any of the gym equipment (I’ve been known to approach a rowing machine like it’s a pull- start lawn mower.) Te one and only service I can be to you, in this regard, is to give you a banging gym playlist; 10 songs that will make you feel as euphoric as dropping head first into a rave in the mid-90s. Some old, some new, non-genre specific; just motivational to the core! You’ll find it on the right hand side of the page. GO GET ‘EM TIGER!
So
Exercise – the non-lying down kind – isn’t everyone’s mug of latte
16 / January 2014/
outlineonline.co.uk
you’ve taken advantage of a month’s
though. It means getting up early, or going home late; it’s sweaty, unflattering and at times, painful. Do you know one of the most common sporting injuries for fitness fanatics? People punching them in face. We’ve all been subjected to the daily “in the gym” statuses – usually while we’re French kissing a sausage and egg McMuffin - and it usually induces violent thoughts of them being throttled by their own sports bra.
WITNESS THE
PLAYLIST
FITNESS GYM
Jon Hopkins Collider
Drums of Death
featuring Azealia Banks & Franklin Fuentes Fierce
Miley Cyrus Wrecking Ball
(Afrojack remix) Ben Pearce
What I Might Do
Disclosure When a Fire
Starts to Burn Lizzo
Batches & Cookies
Death from Above 1979
Romantic Rights
Kanye West Power
Buraka Som
Sistema ft. M.I.A Sound of Kuduro
Knife Party LRAD
If this sounds like the same kind of sado- masochism you’re prone to thinking, perhaps you’d like to take this New Year to exercise your mind instead. As we all grow a little older, it’s not just our pelvic floors that need tightening. How about taking up a new hobby? I don’t mean knitting your loose pubes, but something much more constructive, like learning an instrument. Learning an instrument has been proven in countless studies to improve concentration, dexterity, memory, and the ability to fix problems. Plus when you’re shredding the ol’ geetar, you look fucking cool. Tere are plenty of tutors around Norwich for all instruments, but for electric, acoustic and bass guitar, qualified teacher, Holly Lerski comes highly recommended. Contact Holly on 07949 758358, or email
info@hollylerski.com.
ZUMBATOMIC
Zumba, schmumba. Tat’s SO 2013. 2014 will see Zumbatonic take over, which grabs the worldwide dance-fitness craze, Zumba, and catapults it into the stratosphere. Taking the essence of the current Latin dance- inspired phenomenon, Zumbatomic builds on that by fusing Indian, Celtic, Irish, Arabic, belly dancing, rock and roll, pop and street dance rhythms, to name a few. You can barely walk past a bus stop without someone holding a Zumba class in it, so it’s not hard to find classes going on near you, but for Zumbatomic, we’ve found Zumba Lucia, who’s a native Spanish speaker and runs classes all around the city. Lucia is also a qualified Fitsteps teacher, which manifested after two of the Strictly dancers teamed up with swimmer, Becky Stephens. Fitsteps is a trademarked fusion of Latin and Ballroom moves with an added injection of pace, just like Zumba. For all of Lucia’s class info, search ‘Zumba Lucia’ on Facebook.
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