Guest Writers & Contributors Parents Might Learn from the Words of Troubled Kids
by Hank Mattimore
SANTA ROSA, CA. ~ Every year, the Juvenile Justice Commission of Sonoma County
sponsors an essay
contest for youth caught up in the Juvenile Justice System, whether residing at Juvenile Hall or in one of the group homes or alternative schools scattered throughout the coun- ty. The contest gives these kids an opportunity to share their thoughts on what went wrong for them and how they would like to change their lives. It also gives parents a chance to listen and learn from what these teenage kids have to say about the kind of parents they would like to become.
"I would like to be the parent I never had. My friends said "Your parents are cool." What they didn't know was how I hated the way my parents did not care what I did or where I was or how late I got home. I wanted more protection but I never got that and I felt aban- doned." -15 year-old girl.
"Being a parent to me means
that it does to your kids." -17 year-old boy
"As a young father, I want to give all the support I can give to my daughter and to be there for everything she needs from her first fall to the days of motherhood." -17 year-old boy
"Parents need to step up and lay down rules. They especial- ly need to follow the # 1 rule, be a parent; not a friend." -15-year-old girl
you step up to the plate and make your child's living envi- ronment stable as well as healthy. I want to be the kind of parent my kids will look up to and can go to for any- thing." -15 year-old boy
"One of the biggest mistakes parents make is getting a divorce. In my experience my parent's divorce kept my own father distant. When I needed a male role model, I had no one to look up to.
I vowed
to myself to never divorce because I know the damage
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6 • September 2013 • UPBEAT TIMES To be overcome by the fragrance of flowers is a delectable form of defeat. ~Beverly Nichols
"I want to be the kind of par- ent who likes to hang out with his kid, teach him or her how to ride a bike and help him with his schoolwork. I will never spank my kid. That just teaches him to be mean." -adult
"I was told that drugs are bad but I was never confronted about my problem. My father didn't know I did drugs until I was 16. He wasn't a bad par- ent; he just worked too much." -17 year-old boy
The essays spoke of other teenage issues like bullying, teen suicide, gangs and other problems but most of the youth spoke of that universal yearning they had for parents who would be there for them, parents and other adults who would give them the gift of time and attention and under- standing. Just as important was their longing for a certain amount of structure and dis- cipline in their lives. We do our kids no favor when in our striving to be "cool", we lose sight of our role as parents.
UPBEAT TIMES • September 2013 • 6 Dear Darlin' Paul, Nice Letters! Impetuous young publisher,
wondrous catcher of laaaarge fish, and all-around great guy! Many thanks right back at you for enjoying my latest stuff. Way back when, I wrote a regular column in Town and Country, a weekly paper that gave the terribly conservative daily paper some serious com- petition, in Boulder, Colorado. --As soon as I find my glasses, I may cook up another item for you. I'm tickled pink to do so.
Am really not a mean-
spirited, cheap old crone. ~As soon as I figure out how to save a bit, I'll bother some kind person on your staff to place an ad.
Meanwhile, know that all
of you who put out the fun Upbeat Times are being con- gratulated by our immediate family in the Bay Area, and, by mail, heartily praised by our relatives in NYC, where I am told, they are consider- ing pooling their resources to hire,--oops, no,--to elect you, Paul, their new mayor! If any place needs you and the genu- ine, compassionate and good humor you kindly share, it's my old hometown, NYC. Has possibilities, no? Paul Mark Twain Doyle, the new and best-ever mayor of NYC! But no, please don't go.
We need you in beautiful Santa Rosa! (Hey, I can't get enough of your great cartoons. Wonderful fun!) Always the best, Your new, arthritically endowed, old friend, Ellie Schmidt
Thank you for the gracious words Ellie! ~ PAD
Weird Facts & Fun Trivia - 2
September is the ninth month of the year in the Julian and Gregorian Calendars and one of four months with a length of 30 days.
September in the Northern Hemisphere is the seasonal equivalent of March in the Southern Hemisphere.
In the Northern hemisphere, the beginning of the meteorological autumn is on the 1st of September. In the Southern hemisphere, the beginning of the meteorological spring is on the 1st of September.
JOKES & Humor # 4
On a flight to Florida, Mary was preparing notes for one of the parent education seminars she conducted. The elderly woman sitting next to Mary explained that she was returning to Miami after having spent two weeks visiting her 6 children, 18 grandchildren and 10 great-grandchildren in Boston. Then she inquired what Mary did for a living. Mary told her that she was an educational psychologist, fully expecting the elderly woman to question her for free professional advice. Instead the elderly woman sat back and said, "If
there's anything you want to know, just ask me."
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