September 2013


Life, Health & Home


SANTA ROSA, CA. ~ (for- giv-ing): I love the idea of forgiveness, of finding mercy, showing compassion for what ails us as human beings. But it’s not always easy to be forgiving or non-judgmental, espe- cially when hurts are


deep, fresh


or sore. The


word forgiv-


ing was one of the first to ‘fall apart’ for me, showing me the two words “for” and “giv- ing.” Taking a deeper look, I received a teaching: in finding forgiveness, I would be free to love again, open to life, to give my heart. Even though I’ve known this to be a deep truth since the 80s, I can still find it challenging to open my heart back up again after experienc- ing big hurts --whether I’ve hurt someone else, or am the injured party myself. Or whether the injury is felt direct- ly or indirectly, or from ‘real’ or imagined hurts, or whether the person caus- ing the pain meant to –or not.


Williamson, the celebrated author and spiritual mentor, tells about a boyfriend who said to her, “But Marianne, I never meant to hurt you!” Her reply was, “Yes, but did you mean to love me?” I realized that true intentions determine outcomes. No doubt it’s easier to forgive somebody who didn’t mean to cause hurt. Who shows genu-


ine remorse. Or follows up an apology with actually learn- ing and practicing more lov- ing ways to behave. But how to forgive, when no remorse is shown? Or when the hurts keep coming? When prom- ises to do better get broken? Or when the person we need to for- give is our own self, for doing things that feel wrong in our heart or hearts? One of


the biggest obstacles to expe-


riencing the great relieving and restoring power of for- giveness, is thinking that to forgive is simply excusing bad behavior altogether, let- ting the guilty party off the hook, or even pretending nothing happened. And what if the bad deeds are not only unjust, but cruel? How then, to for-


give? Why even try? There was a great teach-


Reverend Marianne


er of love and compassion, who was quoted as saying, “Forgive them…for they know not what they do.” His heart recognized that what was underneath the harm we do to each other is ignorance, not really knowing more just, merciful, humane ways to live. Not yet realizing Love’s power, or our own beautiful, true nature.


This month, Jewish peo- ple around the world observe


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their “high holy days.” These New Year rituals include Yom Kippur, a day of fasting and atonement for sins –for “miss- ing the mark,” as the original Greek. archery term, signifies. I love that atonement comes apart into at- one-ment, the chance to return to feel- ing whole, renewed,


glad to be alive again. Ready for- giving our hearts to our world.


Being a


truly Upbeat person –not just


a hap-


py-go-lucky polyanna, requires


building inner heart muscle to find understanding in the hurt places. It always means beginning with myself.


Shine delight, Marcia


UPBEAT TIMES • September 2013 • 21


WordPlay: Vocab Rehab: FORGIVING Discover & Go Begins! JOKES & Humor # 9 by Marcia Singer • lovearts@att.net


SONOMA COUNTY, CA. ~ The Sonoma County Library is pleased to announce the launch of Discover & Go, a new program that gives Library cardholders free and reduced-price passes to Bay Area museums and cultural institutions.


Sonoma County Library


cardholders can reserve up to two passes at a time for more than 40 destinations. Local participating museums include the Charles M. Schulz Museum, the Sonoma County Museum, the Pacific Coast Air Museum, Safari West, with more joining our partnership every week. Other Bay Area venues include the Asian Art Museum, the Exploratorium, and the California Academy of Sciences.


Library users can reserve passes online at discover. sonomalibrary.org by date or by venue and print out a pass at home or at any library inter- net computer.


A young man volunteered to baby sit one night so his mom could have an evening out. At bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs to bed and settled down to watch football. One child kept creeping down the stairs, but the young man kept sending him back.


At 9:00 p.m., the doorbell rang. It was the next-door neighbor, asking


whether her son was there. The young man brusquely replied, "No."


Learn how to


use Discover & Go in a brief video tutorial at http://ccclib. org/tutorials/DiscoverGo/.


Soft Shell


Celebrates 18 Years in Business!


We Carry Local and Organic Aromatherapy, Bath, and Body Products Made in Sonoma and Marin County!


Soft Shell is Petaluma’s oasis for relaxation, rejuvenation, healing, and an escape from the outside world.


Gift Certifi cates are a great way to show appreciation for Colleagues, Co Workers, Friends, and Family!


Established in 1996, Soft Shell celebrates 18 Years of Local Bath and Skin Care Choices,


MakeUp Artistry, and Spa Services. Choose from the following Local and California-Made Products: EO • Soap Cauldron • V’TAE • Galen’s Way Matanzas Creek Lavender & More!


18 Kentucky St, Suite 10, Petaluma Check out our List of Spa Services at www.softshellpetaluma.com


Mention you saw this ad and receive 15% off local product lines! (707) 773-4950 Education is a better safeguard of liberty than a standing army. ~Edward Everett UPBEAT TIMES • September 2013 • 21


Just then a little head appeared at the top of the stairs and a voice


shouted, "I'm here, Mom, but he won't let me go home!"


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