HEALTH & WELLBEING
“We knew that life for British families with the Forces overseas is actually very similar to being at home, but some local authorities had misguided views on Service life, especially overseas, so having SSAFA there was a great help.
“The day you first meet the children is the culmination of everything you have worked towards. It is very intense. You see them for an hour at their foster family’s home and then build up the time together before they finally join you at home. Putting them to bed in your own home is a very special moment, they then became ‘our children’”.
Ben and Annika originally contacted a local authority but with no success.
“SSAFA knew how the military worked; they championed the advantages of a military family. SSAFA never presented it as a negative thing.
“You have to be honest with yourself and your social workers about the challenges you think you would be able to cope with. When you hear some of the heart-breaking stories there is a temptation to take children out of sympathy. Social workers are understanding and know that parents have their own ideas about what will work for them. Before you meet the children there is a life appreciation day where you meet all the professionals who talk to you about the children’s backgrounds and their individual personalities. The amount of time you spend with the children slowly increases until they are ready to come home with you. The reality does not set in straight away. Suddenly taking responsibility for three
www.raf-ff.org.uk
children is a shock. Military life is a good preparation but nothing can prepare you for the sudden increase in the amount of housework!”
Zoe and Sally have adopted three children. “SSAFA
’s help now that we have the children is still really important. Our SSAFA social worker is there not just for us, but she has talked with the children as well, talking through their issues and concerns as they arise.”
A unique service
The SSAFA Forces Help Adoption Service is unique in that it recruits solely from serving members of the British Armed Forces.
Lesley-Anne Doughty, Adoption Manager at SSAFA Forces Help says: “As a charity, we realised many years ago that the adoption system was, in the main, failing to consider the special circumstances of military families and the realities of Service life. Even the ethics of a military career were often misunderstood thus severely affecting children who desperately needed a ‘forever family’.
“Thankfully, such attitudes towards military personnel are changing, which is in no small part because of the dedication and commitment of the staff and social workers who make up our adoption service. Through their tireless effort we are helping to ensure that no matter religion, ethnicity, marital status, disability
or sexual orientation, military personnel are afforded the same opportunity to be assessed as adoptive parents in the civilian community.”
“Although it’s great that the Government is committed to making the current adoption system simpler and speedier, it’s really important that military families are not disadvantaged when these changes are implemented.
“Our adoption service strives to be as flexible as possible, taking into account deployments and postings and we hope that this will be matched by other adoption agencies across the UK. We hope that by discussing the issues faced by military couples and continuing to work closely with local authorities, we can ensure that all potential adoptive parents are treated with respect and understanding so that more children can be placed in loving and secure homes, which has to be at the heart of everything we do”.
The charity also advises local authorities on the intricacies of military life ensuring that members of the Armed Forces are not disadvantaged when trying to adopt. By helping demonstrate that military life is not at odds with good parenting, the charity hopes to show that when it comes to providing a loving and secure home, serving families have much to offer.
For more information about the SSAFA Forces Help Adoption Service, visit
www.ssafa.org.uk
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