HEALTH & WELLBEING
“What I am doing when I give talks is all an act. I’m in work mode.
“When I am not in work mode I would rather be rolling on the floor, making random noises and not bothering with conversation. I would want to be trampolining and getting my needs met.
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Although autism has restricted my life, unlike many people with autism, I thank my parents for all I have managed to achieve. They never accepted my autism as an excuse for bad behaviour. They treated me like my brother and sister and provided me with a good education.
“The soft approach does not work with autistic children. You need to be tough. It’s a case of being cruel to be kind”.
A parent from the audience asked a question, “How do I know if I’m being a good parent?” This question evoked a lot of emotion from the parent concerned. Ros answered well, making the reassuring reply that any parent makes mistakes and all try their best.
Sitting at home that evening my phone rang, it was Ros. She couldn’t get the lady concerned out of her head, once she was in the car with her carer, she started to process what had happened. It had really unsettled her to see and hear someone get so emotionally upset because of being on a long, long road with a child with autism and no answers.
Ros asked me if I would contact the lady and give her her number so as she could speak to Ros at anytime she felt the need. For me that was one thing that stands out. Although Ros can’t quite get to grips with all the ‘emotion’ stuff, she could recognise that this lady needed help and support.
That was what this event was all about for me, to let parents know that they are on a road and that there is no ‘correct’ way of doing things.
www.raf-ff.org.uk
There is no Autism Directory where we can look up the answers, if only there was!
The day was also about parents with an autistic child, trying to get across to welfare teams and Station personnel, that if the right things are put in place in the correct way then nine out of ten parents could get quietly along as best they can. But if the understanding is not in place then mum’s will go on the attack…
It’s so easy to look and judge, and with some children Autism just looks like an ill disciplined child. Please just try to understand and listen. It is complicated, but the next time you see a kid flapping or having a meltdown, don’t judge the parent, ask if they are okay or if you can do anything to help. They will probably say no, but to know there is one person who kind of understands will help.
As Ros approached camp she noticed the hangers. Her smile was from ear to ear, she wanted to climb them and run along the top, but as her carer was accompanying her and she also knows that doing such a thing is unacceptable in the ‘normal’ world she didn’t. She just held the wondrous thought!
Dinosaurs, Dinosaurs, Dinosaurs. Ros doesn’t like them but she loves the word, she repeated it and repeated it, her face beamed, and it made the audience smile too because something so simple could be such a wonderful thing.
Spending two hours with Ros, was almost like living in her shoes and was an experience everyone who attended could then relate to. The buzz going around the church was awesome. There wasn’t a wiggling bored bottom on a chair, everyone was still and engrossed, fully taken in by this unique, intelligent lady with no gut instinct!
By inviting Ros, I actually achieved what I set out to do. To show that Autism isn’t always a bad thing. You’ve got to embrace it. The
day you are totally accepting of the condition life will become so much easier. Don’t fight against it, don’t try and make your child like Jonny down the road. Everyone is individual and no matter what you do Autism is with you for life and the sooner you learn to smile about it and welcome it into the family the easier it will be. I mean in our family there is Me, Hubby, my son and AUTISM! We go out as a family and include it in all we do, we never shut it out as it doesn’t like that, and tends to kick-off or self-harm!
I hope all who attended on the day enjoyed it and got something from it. From the large amount of feedback it seems the Ros Blackburn presentation was a huge success. We all got the lot from someone who knows!
Some comments from the audience “I had no idea I had been sitting there for two hours, the time has flown by.” OC Spt Wg
“Brilliant talk. Tears and laughter – what an amazing lady!” WO Steve Langley
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After 30 years service in the RAF and having had no contact or knowledge of Autism, I didn’t know what to expect! My understanding will be a little clearer now.” Colin Jones, RAF Families Federation
“The workshop very much opened our eyes to the challenges an individual and their families face when it comes to autism. Our improved knowledge of the condition will enable us to understand and empathise more with families in these situations. We will be circulating a summary of the workshop across MHS. This will help the team be better prepared when talking to our customers.” MHS Representative
“Thank you for this valuable opportunity to increase our understanding of a very real and difficult situation.” Will McMaster Modern Housing Solutions
Envoy Winter 2012 29
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