Of course there was some healthy ribbing for good measure too!


After returning home I continued to write while I ‘normalised’ into life back home. Some of that normalisation took a little while, but we’d been warned that it might do and I wanted to record it and publish it in case there was someone else out there feeling similarly. After a while the need to write calmed down, what was once torrents of thoughts became a trickle. But that’s not a bad thing, for the most part my war was over and it was time to move on.


That didn’t stop those poems already out there, they took on their own lives and I was frequently receiving messages of support from all over the world. I even had notes of thanks from veterans and families as the poems somehow helped them make sense of their own feelings. It’s incredible to think how powerful words can be.


My poems were published in books and other media. One poem was set to music and performed by a choir for their Remembrance service. School children were being given my poems to study and appreciate, one school dramatised the poetry to raise money for Service charities. That school even invited me to visit and talk to the students, I was amazed to find them so engaging and interested. I met other military poets through FLOW and made some great friends, I even got to meet Dame Vera Lynn the organisation’s patron.


Six Months Later It feels a lifetime ago since I was there. But I can still taste the atmosphere, feel the warm air. We’ve bid farewell to that war now, we’ve counted our dead, We’ve dusted ourselves down and refocused ahead.


But there’s no rest for old soldiers, there’s still work to do, British lives still expire in conflict anew, As I learn of the bloodshed from the comfort of home I relive those old feelings and let my thoughts roam.


For although I remember the hardship endured, There’s a voice deep within me that can’t be ignored, It compels my return to the adventure of war, It wants to feel more alive, like it did do before.


Daddy’s Girl


She sits there in the classroom, hides her face behind her hair, no-one must see her eyes or note the anxiety that lurks there.


Her father has gone away to serve The Queen in foreign lands, and she worries while he’s gone in ways that no-one understands.


She daren’t think of what he’s up to, really does not want to know, avoiding news reports and papers so the worry does not grow.


She keeps her feelings bottled up; she knows that’s what Dad would want,


pretend everything is normal, show the world a valiant front.


She bravely carries on,


stays strong, she has to for her Mum knowing she must be as worried, missing Dad and feeling numb.


It’s tough, but there’s no choice, she counts off each day as they go until the time that he’ll be back, but the months pass painfully slow.


She’s as brave as any soldier, deserves a medal of her own, but the only award she yearns is to hug Dad and welcome home.


In 2011 another military poet, John Jeffcock, put together an anthology of modern poetry entitled ‘Heroes: 100 poems from the new generation of war poets’. I was lucky enough to have several poems included. Quite a proud moment for me as the selection panel included Carol-Ann Duffy and General Lord Dannatt. This led to more exposure and I was interviewed for The One Show. I wouldn’t see the programme until several weeks later as I deployed again, this time to Afghanistan.


What started as a small personal project has taken on a life of its own and I get a kick out of finding out that someone new has come across something I’ve written, especially if it somehow helps someone come to terms with their own experiences.


Daddy’s Girl I wrote for ‘scaley brats’ everywhere (I was a Forces kid myself)... they are often overlooked and expected to just get on with life, school, exams... It’s hard enough just being a kid sometimes without the stress of a serving parent and my heart goes out to them. I was inspired to write that one after the school visit. There was a young teen in the group who’s Dad was in Afghanistan at the time. She was the only Forces kid in her class and I was struck by how brave she must have been to listen to my experiences while going through that. Her teacher learned that her father was away in the lead up to my visit, she was given the option to sit out but wanted to stay. After the event I found out that simply seeing someone in uniform had been a comfort to her. More importantly it highlighted to the school that they need processes in place to identify youngsters from Forces families so that they can be ready to provide the necessary support if needed. They duly put those processes in place and I’m pleased with that. At the end of the day we choose to serve, spouses choose to marry into it, but the kids are born into it with no choice and that deserves some recognition. (I don’t have children myself).


To read more of John’s work go to: www.bjlewis.moonfruit.com and www.forcespoetry.com  www.raf-ff.org.uk Envoy Winter 2012 13


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