From Rude to Responsible:
Ways to Foster “We” Thinking
by Michael Ungar E
ach age brings new opportunities to think “We” instead of “Me.” What children can contribute to the family and community will vary, based upon family values. Here are some start- ing points.
Age 5 and Under n Help with household chores, includ ing kitchen tasks and tidying their room
n Choose activities they like and po litely ask to do them
n Say “Thank you,” and be respon sible for acknowledging gifts n Share toys and donate old ones
Ages 5 to 11 n Have responsibility (with supervi- sion) for a younger sibling’s care
n Look after a pet n Learn commonsense use of potential hazards like pocketknives and push scooters
n Decide what to wear to school n Get ready for sports activities and special interest classes
n Walk to school, where appropriate
Ages 12 to 18 n Obtain certification as lifeguards or junior coaches
n Volunteer or seek paid work n Learn how to use power tools and lawnmowers
n Accept responsibility for clothing choices and contribute money toward purchases
n Plan events at school, such as a dance or preparation for graduation
n Participate in religious or spiritual ceremonies that mark their transition to adulthood
30 Collier/Lee Counties CHILDREN FOLLOW
ADULT EXAMPLES Enabling “We” Instead of “Me” by Michael Ungar
“If you want to be miserable, think about yourself. If you want to be happy, think of others.”
~ Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche T
he phrase “connected kids” may describe youth consumed by Internet-dependent relationships. Yet these same young people still crave old-fashioned, face-to-face connections with the adults in their lives. With one parent or two, stepparents, a grand- parent, aunts or uncles, older family friends, teachers and coaches—experi- ence shows they all can help guide our children by showing the compassion that nurtures kids’ own caring instincts. Swedish futurist and author Mats Lindgren characterizes these young peo- ple, raised by the “Me Generation” (born in the 1970s, ’80s and ’90s), The MeWe Generation, for their efforts to balance a culture of individualism and their need to belong. He notes, “Although the MeWes travel and experience more than
swfl.naturalawakeningsmag.com
any other generation before them, [in surveys] the small things in life still get the highest scores. A happy life is based on relations and companionship.” Family life, for better or worse, es- tablishes the way children connect with others at school, in their communities, on the job, as citizens and as members of the human race. How can we help youngsters feel truly connected and learn to be responsible for themselves and others?
All Together Now
The cycle we want to start at home encompasses compassion, connec- tion, responsibility and citizenship. The alternative is selfishness, alienation, exploitation and disenfranchisement; terms we hope will not apply to our
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