AUGUSTFILM RELEASES
13 August BravePixar’s latest offering takes the high road in this tale of a brave Scottish princess, starring Kelly MacDonald. I can’t wait for the bit where she goes to the magical land of ‘Glasgow’, I’m sure she’ll find a dragon to chase.
17 AugustTe Bourne LegacyJeremy Renner stars in the latest explosive Bourne thriller, as writer/director Tony Gilroy takes a bold step outside the box and expands the world of the first three films. No Matt Damon, but the action and tension are still in place.
16 AugustTe Expendables 2Stallone, Statham, Willis, Hemsworth, Schwarzenegger, Van Damme, Li, Norris, Lundgren, Adkins, Crews, Couture, one cup - of action!
24 August Total RecallRemake of the 1990 Arnie movie, this time starring Colin Farrell. Still no closer to the plot of the much better book, Quaid runs around Mars causing trouble with guns, rebels and tri-breasted hookers. Watch out Colin, they’ll make your eyes pop out!
DVDOF THE MONTH BATTLESHIP
Hollywood film exec scans his child’s bedroom. He plunges his arm, elbow deep, into the nearby toy-box only to retrieve a flaking fragment of the cardboard box containing Hasbro’s board game “Battleships”. “Hmmm, what if…”, he says, eyes widening. He turns, briefly eyeing the poster of Rihanna, and heads giddy downstairs. Embracing his hot wife, with big tits, he espies Independence Day and his Dad’s Army box set on the DVD shelf. Suddenly, as so Saul on the road to Damascus, his spirit beholds a great enlightenment. “Honey, tomorrow I’m gonna pitch ‘em a doozy!” // Picture, if you will, the scene the next day: Te words bounce around the cavernous office; “A film - based on a board game,
P
icture the scene: A desperate
you say?” booms the huge studio boss, sucking his teeth and respiring after every few syllables.. “How much - will it cost to - makethis film - absolutely - adequate?” the crapulent behemoth slurs. “Please Sir, about two-hundred and nine million dollars, Sir.” “And people - will pay - to see this – you say?” “We think so, yes… Rihanna’s in it.” And so a film is born. But you know what? It’s OK. It’s good, dumb fun; there are a few decent chuckles and the effects are predictably amazing. However, this begs a question: When our filmmakers are furnished with a budget that would make a small country blush, don’t we deserve more than box-ticking, string-pulling eye- candy? Is that even the question? No, it’s not. B-2 or not B-2? Tat is the question. Jay Freeman
AUGUSTDVD RELEASES
06 AugustFull Metal Jacket(25th Anniversary Edition)Kubrick’s brutal, bewilderingly good and endlessly quotable treatment of the Vietnam war gets a well-deserved Blu-Ray face-lift. Not that it looks old, mind. Utterly essential.
13 August Te Hunger GamesYou know what they call Te Hunger Games in France? Battle Royale with cheese. Tat said, it’s a pretty fine film. Family friendly but with a dark streak a mile wide.
20 August NightwatchEwan McGregor stars in this moody psychological thriller about a med student moonlighting as a morgue night-watchman who becomes the prime suspect in a series of grisly murders. An all-star supporting cast and clever storytelling propels the film to a satisfying denouement.
27 August HomelandSeason 1 Claire Danes and Damian Lewis are remarkable in this intelligent, provocative and compelling tale of counter- terrorism. Easily the best drama series I’ve seen this year. Honestly.
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