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A tale of two cruises


When his dad declined to join him on a transatlantic cruise, Matthew Collins asked his 17-year-old son Nicolai instead. But how would they cope on a six-day cruise from Southampton to New York – sharing the same cabin?


MATTHEW’S CRUISE Years ago, I presented on a programme called The Travel Show. Each week I was given a challenge – such as travelling to Spain overland with my leg in plaster to test facilities for disabled people; or visiting a French nudist camp where single men and photography were banned (I was alone with my cameras). But one year I sailed to New York on the QEII. After 10 years bringing up two


boys alone, I fancied this dream trip again. I proposed the idea to my 90-year-old dad but he politely declined. So, I asked my 17-year-old son,


Nicolai, and he jumped at the offer. When I say ‘jumped’, what I mean was that he fancied going to New York. He was unsure about six days at sea with me. American accents fi lled the


Southampton air. As we set sail, passengers cheered, Union Jacks fl uttered and Nicolai hit the buffet. It’s a cruising cliché to mention excess food but it’s hard acclimatising to constant temptation. He ate fi llet steak for breakfast, lunch and dinner. So, I bribed him to go vegetarian. It cost $30 but he didn’t have meat


88 | APRIL/MAY 2012


again until we reached New York. One reason for this trip was to


get reacquainted with my son. I envisioned paternal chats – which Nicolai feared – and when we ended up sharing a dinner table with other passengers he was clearly relieved. Passengers infl uenced my son such as the retired American naval offi cer who introduced him to a ‘Manhattan’ cocktail. Nicolai had a sip and when I arrived for dinner next evening, he already had his own Manhattan. There were few passengers


his age, but he enjoyed playing Scrabble with a New Zealand family and chatted to the ship’s Brazilian hostess. I did acting workshops and went to Geoffrey Howe’s lectures while Nicolai hit the pub quiz and bingo. But he did attend a cookery demonstration and a stamp collecting session. After dinner we would have a


drink together and then do our own thing. He was too young for G32 Nightclub and wasn’t interested in RADA’s Hamlet. Singers and dancers didn’t grab him either. While I chatted with Geoffrey Howe, Nicolai played dominoes in the Golden Lion.


We met other passengers including an FBI drug investigator and a former US Navy offi cer who ‘adored’ this sleek liner


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