DECEMBER 2011 Political Junkie A Wonderful Life Indeed By Joe Sherrier Tis the season for watching holi-
day favorites like “It’s a Wonderful Life,” the classic Frank Capra film starring Jimmy Stewart. Political Junkie Joe Sherrier takes a humor- ous look at that unabashed, unre- lenting commie George Bailey, who kept the “old broken down Build- ing & Loan open so his customers could stay afloat.” A Letter to the Editor, Bed- ford Falls Tribune: I am writing to you today as
a patriotic American, one who values the traditional values of this nation and the Christian principles upon which it was founded—duty, hard work, and capitalism. I have been a tire- less champion of these core, conservative values through- out my time here in Bedford Falls, and I believe that my status as a leader in the com- munity demands that I shine a light on those who do not share these uniquely American quali- ties of character, those who, in fact, are working to destroy our way of life. I am speaking about George Bailey, Socialist agitator and enemy of freedom. We in this town are well ac- quainted with Mr. Bailey’s sort- ed history: As a child, he was an admit-
ted drug runner for Old Man Gower, and his role in the near poisoning of one of the phar- macist’s clients has never been fully explained. He was raised in what could
be generously described as a “commune” run by his mother, no doubt a breeding ground for his future community organiz- ing efforts. He proudly displays his post-
ers and magazines about for- eign lands, with a predilection for stories about Middle East- ern locales and exotic rituals. He has never been a regular churchgoer. We have been told that on VE Day he wept and prayed, and on VJ Day he wept and prayed, but no one has seen him in a church since.
He received a deferment
from military service at exactly the time when his country most needed him, claiming some faulty hearing. He certainly didn’t hear the cries of his countrymen, that’s for sure! Of course, I would never
mention it, but isn’t it interest- ing that his henchman, Uncle Billy, had a wife who died in the river under mysterious circum- stances. As a businessman, George
Bailey’s behavior strikes at the very heart of all that we know to be right and good: He loaned money to cabbie
Ernie Bishop, wrapping him in the chains of debt from which he could never hope to escape. He used Building and Loan
money to destroy the fabric of the Italian community in Bed- ford Falls. When he pushed a subprime loan on the illiterate Mr. Martini, he broke up a vi- brant ethnic neighborhood and divided a culture to pursue his utopian fantasies. He preached the evil philos-
ophy of “spreading the wealth around” during the last bank run, falsely providing hope to the vulnerable masses at a time when they needed some tough fiscal talk about the benefits of austerity, not flowery speeches about hope and persistence. Mr. Bailey admitted to his
bank customers that their hard earned money was not safely inside the bank, as he had led them to believe. He told them without remorse that their money was in the houses of all of the other depositors. Now, I didn’t go to some fancy college like Harry Bailey, but I know a Ponzi scheme when I see it! These transgressions would
be enough, but Mr. Bailey was not done fleecing his flock with his malfeasance. There is ample rumor to suggest that he fun- neled Building and Loan funds directly to the morally liberal Violet Bick, no doubt hush
money payments in exchange for—let’s call them favors. There is no denying the lipstick marks on his cheek! He has served as the Bed-
ford Falls Piped Piper, playing a joyful tune while leading the huddled masses to their finan- cial doom and a life of nanny state dependency, with the Al- mighty Building and Loan set- ting the collective rules and Mr. Bailey lining his pockets in the process. When the Darwinian goals
of capitalism are abandoned and the populace is not encour- aged to maximize income and personal wealth, we empower a lazy rabble, content with indoor plumbing and a picket-fenced yard, but nothing more. When conspicuous consumption is discouraged, we all suffer. Mr. Bailey’s emotionally
tinged “we’re all in this togeth- er” rhetoric represents a danger to our children and a danger to our cherished values of rugged individualism and American Exceptionalism. It is only when we compete against each other that the greatest is nourished and rises to the top. We need look no further than the ex- ample of Sam Wainwright, who rejected George Bailey’s Social- ist designs to earn a fortune in plastics. And, in a final indignity, Mr.
George Bailey received a Christ- mas bailout from the honest taxpayers of Bedford Falls, all while questions of his business accounting practices remain unanswered. Mr. Martini re- portedly robbed the jukebox in his own establishment to con- tribute to this ill-advised bail- out. Mr. Bailey: Have you no shame! Help me end the evil reign
of this Socialist-run-amok, and return our fair town to its tra- ditional roots of self-reliance, personal liberty, and segre- gated services. If we do not act now, as Thomas Jefferson once
said, “We shall not endure as a nation, without freedom, lib- erty and unregulated banking.” (The Federalist Papers, Volume VIII, to James Madison). I may be a warped frustrated
old man, but I am also a job cre- ator. I am no Commie like Bai- ley. Help me stop Bailey and his
304.876.1936 123 DUKE STREET SHEPHERDSTOWN
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304.728.7060
confounded Building and Loan before it’s too late. —Henry F.
Concerned American Patriot and Disabled Businessman P.S. We now offer Saturday
Potter
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