Harold & Ethel. Ethel: A young man tried to mug me this morning at the back of the Coop. Harold: What did you say?
Ethel: I told him I didn’t have any money. Harold: What happened ? Ethel: He frisked me absolutely all over, it was the most thorough frisking I’ve ever had. Harold: Did he find any money ? Ethel: No. But I told him if he wanted to frisk me again I could write him a cheque.
A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?" The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and that’s how all mankind was made." Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved." The confused girl returned to her mother and said, " Mum, how is
it possible
You can’t believe everything you read in the Herald
that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they devel- oped from monkeys?" The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."
Five out of four people don’t understand fractions.
Harry goes to the doctor complaining about a pain in his right arm. “Don’t worry about it,” says the doctor. “It’s just old age.” “What do you mean old age?” says Harry. “ I’ve had my left arm for just as long and there’s nothing wrong with that.”
I went on a history tour of the UK as I thought I should brush up on our proud heritage. It started at Runnymede where the barons made King John sign the Magna Carta. I asked the guide when all this happened and he said 1215. I couldn’t believe I only missed it by 15 minutes.
The Spanish hotel we stayed in was good in one respect, it overlooked the sea. Unfortunately it overlooked hygiene, good service and edible food.
3.
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