Congratulations to


Church Street


News and Food as winners of our Best Butty Competition 2011 as voted for by our Local Herald readers in the Accrington area. Joanne and Sarah have been owners and partners in the business for over 3 years now and have built up a thriving business. They obviously have a large and satisfied following of regular customers going off the high level of votes we received. The girls put their popularity down to fresh ingredient for their sandwiches,


pies cakes as well as an and ever


changing menu of homemade specials. The business also offers outside catering and you are welcome to


ring on 01254


384837 for prices and more details.


Hyndburn Stray Dogs in Need


Giving Stray Dogs a Second Chance


All Jewellery, Coins & small items of scrap metal Will Collect


www.hyndburnstraydogsinneed.co.uk


01254 875990 15 Whalley Rd, Accrington


Brian’s Airport Transfers


Private Hire Established 1975 New Cars Plus 8 Seater Mini Bus


01254 396565 07957 237858


Ask a stupid question…


The phone at the local hospital rang, and the duty nurse picked it up to hear a man speaking frantically at the other end. “ My wife’s pregnant and her contractions


are only two


minutes apart..” The nurse asked him, “Is this her first child ?” “No, you idiot!” The man shouted. “This is her husband!”


2.


A farmer living by a country road is increasingly concerned by speeding traffic. Worried that he and his livestock are in danger he calls the police and asks them to put up a sign. They put up a ‘Slow’ sign but it has no effect. They try putting up a ‘Pedestrian Crossing’ sign, but that has no effect either. Finally they try erecting a ‘Children at Play’ sign, but the traffic still keeps whizzing past. Eventually the farmer asks if he can put up his own sign and the police agree. A few days later a policeman stops by to see how things are going. He’s amazed to see the traffic moving at a snail’s pace, then he notices the farmer’s home-made sign by the roadside, it reads, ‘Nudist Colony’.


Celebrating 40 years On Monday October 3rd, Accrington and District Probus Club will celebrate its 40th Anniversary. There will be a special event in the Town Hall Supper Room. The event will commence at 10 am with complimentary coffee and biscuits, to be followed by a talk on ‘The lost Gardens of Heligan’ by Don Metcalfe. A light lunch is being provided and it is hoped that some of the older members will talk about their memories of the club. The event will probably close at around 2pm. We hope that some retired members will be able to attend and any prospective members will be most welcome. (come and see what we get up to). If you intend to be present please let me know (Gerald Rostron tel:- 01254 885974) by 16th September, so that catering can be arranged. New members, both men and women, will also be welcome at the September meetings. September 5th


‘Tributaries of the Ribble’ by Cliff Astin


September 19th ‘Traditional Malaysian Art and Culture’ by Ms Chandra Law.


Congratulations to


Yummies of


Oswaldtwistle


As winners of our Best Butty competition 2011, as voted by our Oswaldtwistle readers. Diane has developed the business with the help from Marie and Susan over the last three and a half years, and is delighted to receive the 5 star Hygiene award from the Food Standard Agency. The girls pride themselves on their fast and friendly service as they provide delicious food with a laugh thrown in. Sandwiches, salad boxes, Panini's, daily specials and their famous hot lunches. Starting next month is


their


winter warmer lunches such as the sausage, mash & onion gravy,


liver & onions with


mash or savoury mince. Yummieeeeee.


“Doctor Doctor !


Nobody understands me!” “ What do you mean by that ?”


GREEN HAWORTH GOLF CLUB Green Haworth, Accrington. BB5 3SL Tel. 01254 237580 Fax: 01254 396176


Sportsman’s Dinner.


Friday September 9th, 7:30pm for 8:00pm. A fantastic time is planned for your entertainment, come along and join us for a night of laughter, food and drinks with two of the most experienced guys on the circuit. You won’t be disappointed. Guest Speaker Peter McGovern. PGA. “Peter has spent his life doing what he loves; playing golf; helping others play better golf; talking about golf and importantly making people laugh”. To see more please visit www.petermcgovern.com Special Guest Rod Beech. Comedian. “Rod is a versatile and well respected experienced comedian who has been involved in the entertainment industry for over 25 years. He brings to the stage an aura and presence coupled with a wealth of experience that allows him to read an audience and rarely fail to make them laugh”. To see more please visit www.rodbeech.org £35 per person. Set Meal Steak Dinner (other dietary needs can be catered for with prior notice). Special prices for block bookings will be considered, bookings are on a first come first served basis. To book please call Andy on 07843 287298 or email Andrew.litkowski@talktalk.net Web Site: www.greenhaworthgolfclub.co.uk


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