THOUGHTS AND EXPERIENCES FROM
JOHN KEASLER, PAT COFFEY AND SANDY GAUDIER AS INTERVIEWED BY DR. ROBERT L. BETTINGER REPRESENT
There are many studies showing similar results with
varying differences, but consistently they underscore a significantly lacking or totally absent awareness, respect, understanding, tolerance and availability of support systems for LGBT seniors compared to their heterosexual counterparts. Those differences are seen in our local San Diego study.
It mirrors many of the
findings of the national and other studies, but has its own set of cultural, political, economic and social-based “traditional” or “non-traditional” practices.
THE MARCH 2011 SAN DIEGO STUDY CONFIRMS MANY OF THE NATIONAL FINDINGS IN A MARCH 2010 STUDY IN WHICH THE TOP FOUR CONCLUSIONS WERE:
1) A lack of family, community and social support and a fear of social isolation. 2) Lack of access to culturally competent healthcare, mental and social services. 3) Financial security 4) A lack of safe LGBT affirmative and affordable housing.
(The link to the March 2011 executive summary of the San Diego study can be viewed online at
ragemonthly.com as well as many other links to resources for seniors).
Do you see this collaboration and the senior initiative as being a potential model for other cities? I do know that our long-term goal is to create the best
care possible for San Diego’s LGBT seniors and it would be great if our experience could benefit other com- munities. As I said before, it would be ideal if a capable organization could be established as a central clearing- house to collect and disseminate information, data and solution based programs and concepts. This would fa- cilitate more efficient and viable solutions more quickly and limit the spinning or recreating of existing wheels already in motion. What would you like to say to our community about the founda- tion’s “Aging with Dignity” initiative and how can they help? It’s important to note that SDHDF, as a community
foundation is not a service provider—our role is primar- ily in fundraising and grant making to non-profit orga- nizations like The Center to address issues.
It is when
members of the community we serve, in their own way, make contributions whether through volunteering, advocacy or monetary donations, that we can act on the collective power to accomplish what an individual cannot. Our national community has a strong history of taking care of our own. Whether it be marriage equality, HIV/AIDS, or combating hate crimes and bullying, we pull together to support one another and become a force for good.
More resources and web links for this story can be found on The Rage Monthly’s website:
http://www.ragemonthly.com/the- silver-rainbow-aging-with-dignity-initiative.
THE CONCERNS OF MANY OF THE LGBT SENIORS HE INTERVIEWED IN THE 43 STORIES COLLECTED:
JOHN KEASLER quoted a friend, “You’ve got
to get poor to get cared for.” He said, “There is a stigma to being gay and HIV positive.” John looks healthy and would like to be employed but only has the endurance to complete a half day’s work. It was very hard for John to get Section 8 housing, his worst fear is living on the streets and he had no help and no one advocating on his behalf. He summed up his experience; “It seems their primary goal is to disqualify you.” Alienated from his brother and sister, John relies on friends who understand his life rather than judge it. As he reaches out to support others, he wonders how to reconnect with “the LGBT village,” stating, “maybe I need to start a communal effort.” In short, John says there are some agencies
that give suggestions, but the process of getting help is often too confusing mentally and difficult physically for seniors to do alone. Some find the strength, but many others are too weak to survive the struggle and desperately need a knowledge- able advocate to assist them. John understands the stigma they can face and knows the pain of isolation, that’s why he prefers a living situation with other gay people, sharing common meals and being part of a vibrant accepting community.
PAT COFFEY and SANDY GAUDIER, ages 71 and 70 respectively and a loving couple for 27 years, are now married. They observed the quality of life provided Pat’s mother, as she was aging and had moved to a retirement community. When it is time for them to consider such a decision they are looking for a gay-friendly retirement community in San Diego that includes services for residents, and the ability to bring “a pet or two!” Of para- mount importance is that they be able to share a living unit together. Active in local Democratic politics they would want a socially, culturally and religiously diverse community—and in a politi- cally tolerant environment. Pat spoke of her mother’s “quality of life” dete-
riorating while living alone and surviving on TV dinners. A friend of hers moved into a retirement community and Pat’s mother asked Pat and Sandy to start checking these places out in San Diego for her. Once she moved into a retirement com- munity, Pat shared that her mother lived another eight years, improved her health and stamina, and genuinely enjoyed her life. She even acquired a “boyfriend!” Pat and Sandy say that their “plan” is to stay in their home as long as they can maintain and enjoy it, but they realize that the possibility that poor health may eventually mean it may not be possible at some point in the future.
JULY 2011 | RAGE monthly 51
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