rage notes
CELEBRATE AND MAKE WE MARRY!
So many things happen in our day-to-day lives, it’s easy to miss or underestimate the significance of moments that show a categorical shift in reality. Small advances occur and seem to have no consequence—but they do. To many, the marriage debate represents a non-ending series of defeats in the struggle to move us
forward as fully realized members of society. To others it represents the destruction of that society and has become the calling card of a moral/religious debate that divides many a friend and family. It is difficult to stay positive and see that there is forward motion when it seems that the defeats stack up so much higher than the gains—especially with the demoralizing presence here in California of Prop. 8. A moment of consequence upon us: It is the decision in New York allowing same-sex marriage. I can’t help but feel that this is a game-changer and will have much significance in future fights that are un- doubtedly to come. New York is the sixth state and the largest to allow gay marriage in the U.S. and more importantly, it is the first to have the scales tipped in our favor—with Republican help. To me this reflects the beginnings of a hard-earned shift in public opinion and puts pressure on even the most conservative leaders to leave the debate out of the realm of religious beliefs—placing it squarely where is should be, a matter only of civil rights. I have never understood the vitriolic debate in the first place; should we have the “right” to marry? OF
COURSE. After all, doesn’t the constitution guarantee equal protection and equal access to all? Let’s keep the debate about that and not get lost in debating morality—religious or otherwise. I loved what Marianne Williamson says about civil unions on page 39: “‘Separate but Equal’ is not freedom. If I were a gay person, I would say, ‘Well thank you very much for the crumb, but I would prefer the whole piece of rye bread!” I know even on a personal level that change comes slowly, so when you consider the task of altering something like half of the nation’s attitudes, it helps to put it into perspective (although we’re more than halfway there according to Gallup Polls—53 percent of Americans think we should have the right to marry). We are moving forward, we are winning the battle. The world is a very different place than it was when I was a young boy grappling with my sexuality. I am grateful to have witnessed the evolution and to also be a part of changing it. As a gay man of 50, and considering the challenges of retirement (see page 48), it is daunting at best to
know where to turn sometimes. I believe with all my heart that solutions do come, change does occur, as long as we work together and put forth a united front to fight for what is right. It took years for us to win the battle for respect and not to walk in fear, but we did it. It isn’t perfect, but it has gotten so much better. I have faith in my fellow citizens that “the right to marry” and so much more will in the end be ours for those same reasons. To steal from an old (god help me) song I loved as a kid: “The times they are a changing.” Happy Independence Day, Happy Pride and to those lucky enough in New York to be exchanging nup-
tuals; congratulations! Toss that bouquet my way! Joel Martens, Interim Editor
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RAGE monthly | JULY 2011
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