table of periodic elements, capitals of foreign countries or obsesses about a television show that his peers stopped watching two years ago – this does not help in their efforts to form friendships.
As a parent, I tried endlessly to pair them up with kids that might be more understanding. Usually, these kids were 2-3 years younger than mine but that was okay. I just wanted them to have friends and it didn’t matter to me how old they were. It’s one of the hardest aspects in dealing with Autism. My kids were different yet they looked just fine. They looked like any other child and when they struggled to socialize with their peers, no one seemed to understand why except me.
I never wanted my kids to be labeled. It’s not as though I wanted them to walk around with a sign that said “I’m on the Autism Spectrum – Please be patient with me”. But as a society, we tend to be empathetic if we can “see” the disability. We should be this way if we see someone in a wheelchair or with a cane. If the person has Down syndrome, we can see that their facial features are different and it alerts us to be more compassionate. This should always be the case. Having Autism, OCD and anxiety, it’s not as clear to those
around us. Since the first diagnosis, I have always made it my mission to educate anyone and everyone. While we know so much more than we did years ago, we still have a long way to go. In my case, I don’t know what “normal” is. When my kids were younger,
I would periodically call my friends whose kids were developing typically. I wasn’t sure if some of the behaviors exhibited were because they were teenagers or due to their special needs. It can be a very gray area and I wasn’t sure at times.
I never want anyone to feel sorry for me; this is not my style. My kids don’t want anyone
to pity them. We just hope that as more people are aware of these hidden disabilities, maybe they will be more compassionate. It would be incredible if rather than my kids being viewed as special needs kids that we begin to view them as just “special”.
Judy Blake is the single mother of two boys with Autism, Obsessive- Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and anxiety. Her upcoming book, Judy’s World, chronicles her life and that of her children. As she shares the joys and challenges of raising two special needs kids, her goal is to raise awareness and compassion for those with hidden disabilities. This article is the second part of a three-part series from Judy Blake. Her book, Judy’s World, is due this summer.
She welcomes the opportunity
to speak to audiences of all ages. Her speeches encourage audiences to be more empathetic and less judgmental. To book Judy as a speaker, please contact her at
judy@judysworld.info. Her website is now live –
www.judysworld.info.
Dr. Amber Brooks, CACCP
(469) 547-1173 14330 Midway Rd Ste 116 Dallas, TX 75244
Learn more at
www.mychildwellness.com
North Texas Kids • July 2011 •
www.NorthTexasKids.com
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