“To work through our emotions, we
have to be able to accurately sense what we are feeling and be able to express it in a healthy way,” adds Straub, like expressing anger after a tough commute by punching a designated pillow or shouting into a closet. Furthermore, “We need to change the belief we’ve identifi ed that’s causing the painful emotional response.” Did the guy that cut us off in traffi c really do it maliciously? Third, learn to let go of a negative emotion that’s automatically triggered when someone or something presses our “hot button” by immediately considering, “He must have been in a big hurry,” or “She doesn’t realize how offensive that remark could be,” realizing it’s their problem, not ours, and declining to make it ours. Achieving greater emotional calm is a huge step toward personal empowerment.
Relationships
Acting on heartfelt emotions can help forge stronger and healthier relationships. “Sometimes, we say yes to a false image of ourselves or hide who we are in order to be accepted,” counsels Ruiz, noting that not presenting our authentic selves in relationships will weaken or replace true intimacy with a sense of loneliness and distance. “Say, ‘I forgive, I accept and I let go.’” This paves the way to being genuine, which naturally leads to greater unconditional love and more fulfi lling and honest relationships. In romantic relationships, life coach Martha Beck, Ph.D., author of Finding Your Way in a Wild New World: Reclaiming Your True Nature to Create the Life You Want, suggests ditching the image of two people looking soulfully into each other’s eyes. “Realize that you’re both changing all the time,” she says. Instead, envision two people walking side-by-side at the same pace, and a relationship that will continue to refresh and move forward, instead of getting stuck in well-worn patterns.
Work
Capability is one of the new guiding principles for self-empowerment at work, says Haydn Shaughnessy, a fellow at the University of California-Irvine’s Center for Digital Transformation and co-author, with Nicholas Vitalari, of
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