With an energetic 5-year-old and a newborn, our


worship life is rarely quiet and contemplative. I admit that I spend too much time during worship asking, scolding and begging my preschooler to behave. “Sit still.” “Listen.” “Don’t kick the pews.” “Shhhh.” Oſt en it’s the expectation of others that I’m trying to


have my son meet. Any parent who worships regularly with kids has experienced the sneer or glare from another member. I see the judgment in their eyes: judging my child and me for his behavior. Yes, I’m aware of his loud “whispers” in worship. I


notice every wiggle as he attempts to sit still. I see how he runs around aſt er the service. I see it all and yet, as if I don’t, I’ve been stopped on more than one occasion by other members who fi nd his behavior off ensive, disrup- tive or disrespectful. Here’s what I wish I could say: Before you consider telling parents about the faults of


their child (and their parenting) in worship, please con- sider what you don’t have the joy of witnessing. You don’t hear my child whisper the Lord’s Prayer


along with the congregation. You don’t see his smile as his dad sings in the choir. You don’t see him sharing stickers with the kids


around him who don’t have them. You don’t hear the questions he asks aſt er worship. You don’t see him give the pastor a big hug and a


high-fi ve. You don’t see him share the Christmas story with his


grandparents. You don’t see how he listens in worship and how parts


of the sermon come up in his play later. You don’t see him smile in welcome to all members of


the congregation. You don’t see him remember his pastors and church


friends in prayer at night. You don’t see his excitement as he comes to the com-


munion rail with the family. Worshiping with kids is oſt en noisy and messy. It’s


not calm and quiet. T ere is a host of “inappropriate” behavior that kids exhibit as they learn how to worship. But there is beauty in the messiness and a deep and grow- ing faith. Blessed be the parents who bring their kids to worship. Because the real blessing is that the kids are in worship


in the fi rst place. Worship aff ects children in so many ways. God is working in the lives of children and most of it we will never see. So instead of adding to a parents’ stress on Sunday morning, give thanks to God that chil- dren are in worship to grow in their faith along with the rest of us. 


C


Support for families


• Smile and greet families. Engage with parents and the kids who worship with your congregation. T ank the parents for bringing their children to wor- ship. Learn the children’s names, greet them at their level and tell them how happy you are to see them in church. Kids pick up on when they are welcome, and they are more likely to feel comfortable in worship (and more likely to behave as well).


•Know the resources your congregation has for families. Are there worship bags or children’s bulletins? Know where they are located so you can mention this to families if they don’t have activities to help keep kids engaged. Remember that children who are playing quietly in worship are learning and absorbing even if they don’t seem to be listening. Children learn about worship by being in worship.


ongregations promise to support families at their children’s baptisms. Here are fi ve ways you can support families and children in worship.


• Pretend they are your family (aſt er all, they are part of your church family). Children are a blessing to a congregation. T ey are the future of the church. If you want your child, niece, nephew, grandchild, sibling or cousin to worship and know the love of Christ, then it is equally important to support the children of others. Love and respect all children accordingly.


•Know your preferences. If you don’t like to be disturbed during worship, sit in an area with fewer children. T is may mean attending an earlier service or sitting in a specifi c area, oſt en closer to the front of church, so you are more tolerant of children’s presence.


• Remember Jesus’ words when you are frustrated: “Let the little children come to me.” T ere is grace suffi cient for all of us in Jesus Christ. T at goes for the frazzled parent, the challenging child and the grouchy member. Give and receive God’s grace. If you act out anger and impatience with a family, remember that in Christ you are forgiven. So, too, forgive children and parents when they are having a tough day at worship.


Author bio: Paul is director of children and family ministry at Normandale Lutheran Church, Edina, Minn., and the e-newsletter writer for The Little Lutheran (www. thelittlelutheran.org). She and her husband have two children ages 5 years old and 4 months.


May 2014 27


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