Th at would be waking up aft er a suicide attempt or real- izing you had permanently alienated your last friend. Now I learned that we can ask God for support for
even the small things we encounter. I didn’t need to feel alone in day-to-day life. Although there are only 10 of us, together we have
experienced the death of a member’s 21-year-old son in a car accident, breast cancer, a long prison term for another’s son, complications aft er a leg amputation and serious illnesses of family members. Th ey taught me about faith through their actions, and I learned how to express appropriate levels of compassion.
Hearing from Scripture One of my favorite Bible passages is the healing of a man with demons in Gerasenes (Mark 5:1-20, Luke 8:26-39). Th e man had been marginalized by his com- munity. Aft er Jesus expelled his demons the community “found the man … sitting at the feet of Jesus, clothed and in his right mind .…” When the man begged to go with him, Jesus replied:
“Return to your home, and declare how much God has done for you.” He did just that. I’ve felt much like this man in that my demons, while
not gone, are now well-medicated. God is calling me to go back to my community and family and tell everyone what God has done. It has been a joy to serve God in this way. Th e prophet Isaiah encourages us to move beyond
worship rituals while our neighbors suff er and morally unjust responses prevail (Isaiah 58). Many with mental illness suff er alone, while those who belong to a spiri- tual community struggle with how to respond. How do we help make that connection to God for the mentally ill? I needed mental stability before I could even begin to understand my spiritual needs. Th e path for others with mental illness may be diff erent, but God’s amazing work and gift of grace and forgiveness have made me confi dent. Yet the confi nes of stigma can be disheartening.
When you have mental illness, others may assume you are incompetent, hopeless and even dangerous. Still, Christ compels us to go back to our communities to spread his word: Christian community includes the mentally ill. We can take strength from Isaiah 58:8: “Th en your
light shall break forth like the dawn, and your healing shall spring up quickly; your vindicator shall go before you, the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.” I need that rear guard. I’ve embarked on a jour-
ney of communication, a lifelong struggle. Even with medication, I can easily become overstimulated when people talk too loud, too fast or use too many adjec- tives without a clear conclusion. Overstimulation results in a perpetual echo in my mind, preventing clarity of thought. Over the years, attempts to halt that reverbera- tion resulted in a muted speech pattern. Other people oft en interpreted this as an absence of passion or lack of interest. More oft en I just needed to calm the storm in my mind by slowing down, shortening or ending a conversation. In my prayers, I speak slowly and quietly, listening
for God’s slow and quiet answers. I feel blessed to know God understands me. My lifelong struggle with undiagnosed bipolar dis-
order had completely crushed my spirit. But as we read in Psalm 34:18: “Th e Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Th e Lord “redeems the life of his servants; none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned” (22).
20 Maintaining stability A few key rules help me maintain stability:
• Never miss a dose of medication as prescribed despite such troubling side eff ects as short-term memory loss. • Limit the aft er-work schedule to two events per week to avoid overstimulation and give time for refl ection. • Take “worker” rather than leadership roles in an eff ort to reduce stress. • End relationships with those who create more stress than support in my life. • Keep a sense of humor about my illness (sometimes sanity is highly overrated). • Talk with people about my disorder and invite their feedback if my words or actions become a concern. Constructive feedback is critical as I don’t always
understand how I impact others. As such, I never take off ense when someone has my best interests at heart. For example, a longtime friend I had alienated due to my behaviors was willing to build a new relationship on diff erent terms—essentially, that I take my medica- tion. Today our relationship fl ourishes.
Deb Karch May 2014 19
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