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Love and loss in 120 characters


Facebook and Twitter are changing the way we mourn— creating a public space for grief which has previously been private and largely kept behind closed doors. In fact, social media is becoming a place where the bereaved can find community and a virtual room full of strangers to share their prayers, as Sarah Newton found out.


L


ive tweeted births and delivery-room photographs shared on Facebook have become the norm – so is the natural next step the same social


sharing of a person’s last moments? It is true that we have a cultural squeamishness about death, yet on the whole we have no qualms about showing the world what we ate for dinner. Before the 20th century, mourning was a very public act; people would bring casseroles,


neighbours would help to wash the body and wakes would last several days. But today we have lost an intimacy with death and many people miss that sense of communal mourning, which can be a tremendous source of support for the newly bereaved. All too often, mourning is an isolating


experience, but Facebook and Twitter have become a place where the bereaved can find community. It is, perhaps, a modern version of what has always existed.


And while it might seem strange to stumble upon announcements of death or the intimate details of dying in amongst the updates about school holidays in Majorca or funny animal videos, they act as a stark reminder of our mortality and the need to embrace life while we still can. In the week before his mother’s death, Chicago-based journalist Scott Simon began live-tweeting his mother’s final days to his 1.3 million followers from her hospital room. His controversial decision has divided opinion; with some arguing it represents a new low for an age of compulsive self-revelation, while others have praised his decision to give followers a compelling peek into human existence. The tweets began, it seemed, almost as a way


to pass the time: “In line at hospital Starbucks. Dancing in the Streets comes on. Line begins to sing, ‘They’re dancin’ in Chi-caw-go!’ ” His followers learned about his very special


relationship with his mother, former showgirl and model Patricia Lyons Simon Newman. One tweet read: ‘I am getting a life’s lesson about grace from my mother in the ICU. We never stop learning from our mothers, do we?” And, through his tweets, we also saw a glimpse of his mother’s fantastic sense of humour, even in her darkest hour. Scott quotes his mother as saying: “Believe me, those great death bed speeches are written ahead of time.” And she also joked: “I don’t know why this is going on so long. I’m late for everything I guess.” Over the weekend, when it became apparent


she would not be leaving hospital, Scott began tweeting about the experience of sitting — and


30 Farewell Magazine


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