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Looking for love – By Ellen Arnison how do you know if you’re trying too hard?

Finding a soul mate is never easy, particularly if you’re looking for one. Now that probably doesn’t make much sense until you think of the number of people who found the man or woman of their dreams in the least likely place. Stumbling over Mr Perfect in the dry cleaners, while walking your dog, or when you run out of petrol is all very well, but hanging around the laundry, park or garage forecourt looking available is simply not going to work.

Don’t look desperate is easy to tell yourself, but what does it actually mean?

Here are some signs you need to back off because you’re more scary than seductive. You’re always available. If you answer the phone, email, text, tweet or doorbell within less than a second, he or she is going to think you were sitting waiting for them to get in touch… and that’s because you were. It’s time to get a life – or at least look like you’ve got one.

Interested is fine, but this is obsessive. You know everything about the object of your affection. Allow there to be some mystery – they might find the fact you know their postcode, mother’s name, sister’s phone number and favourite type of jelly bean more like stalking.

Clingons weren’t good in Star Trek ether. If you find yourself inviting yourself along, perhaps to the gym, the golf course, a night out with his work colleagues, maybe it’s time to back off and give him some space.

You’ll do anything… If you’ve cleaned his fridge, washed his car, mended his socks, done his shopping and you’re getting ready to cut his grass, then stop. You’re supposed to be a potential lover, not a mother/housekeeper.

There now you’ve stopped looking desperate – all you need to do is create an environment for a magical, lucky chance encounter. You certainly won’t bump into the person of your dreams sitting on your sofa watching Britain’s Got Talent, you need to be out and about ready to bump. It’s a cliché, but evening classes and social groups are ideal. Spice Scotland is an adventure social and leisure group for adults. It has more than 700 members all of whom get the chance to living life to the full at any one of dozens of varied and memorable events.

Looking for your next great adventure?

Whether that’s a pub night out or a full blown activity holiday – enjoy meeting like-minded people.

What better way to kick start your social life than by joining the UK’s leading Activity, Social, Adventure and Sports Group?

Visit for details on membership, events, holidays and get togethers.

Tel: 0131 553 0026 E: FB/SpiceScotland

44 | West End Life – August/September 2013


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