// TUCKED IN THE BACK PAGE
How one should speak to icemen
By Ben Tucker,
tuck@usacurl.org
Abe Lincoln would have first blushed and then mentioned her by name in the 13th
D
ear Leader (Terri Kolesar, the Editor of the U.S. Curling News who treats her columnists in such a way that
Amendment)
says it’s time for an online edition. As I type, it is 83 degrees Fahrenheit with 83 percent humid- ity … but I can always talk curling … anytime … anywhere. Which reminds me: Shoot me an email anytime:
tuck@usacurl.org. A day that has an email about curling is going to be a good day. As we are now in midsummer, the chances are
very good that your local iceman does not hate you. Te chances are equally good that you do not hate your local iceman. Alas, this summer will flit away and soon autumn will be apply- ing frost on the windows nightly and the trees will turn the color of their leaves before shed- ding them on your lawn. Ten all of our nation’s icemen will start to make ice again. At least, we hope they will make ice. Sooner or later these saintly men (I don’t know of any female icemak- ers) might realize that this is a relatively thank- less job. Some are volunteers. Some are paid, but not very much. A very few make some good money, but not enough money to tolerate abuse. None of them are making that kind of money. It should be our goal for the coming season to
make it all the way to Spring without our icemen hating us. Getting through to Spring without us hating our icemen is an impossible goal, so we won’t go there. Aſter all, every time we miss a shot it is his fault. A miss is never our fault. We always hit the broom. We always have the cor- rect weight. All misses are the fault of the ice- man. All of them. Well, maybe not all of them. OK, I’m being a bit facetious here. Te first thing you should know about getting
through the season without your iceman hating you is what the ice should be like. Te current trend is toward ice that might feel a little draggy and curls a whole lot. Coming off a sheet and complaining about the speed and the movement when it is timing 24 seconds with 4 feet of curl on a draw will just make you look whiny and un- informed. Yeah, I prefer 25 seconds and 3 feet of curl …
but it isn’t always about Tuck. It SHOULD be al- ways about Tuck, but it isn’t. So, we can use me as an example. Let us say that I needed to draw the eight-foot with the hammer coming home and came up short. Leaving the sheet bitter and angry, I come across our iceman who asks, “How was the ice?” (Tip to icemen everywhere: Never ask the losing skip about the ice. You will not like the answer.) Here is an example of what I should NOT say
to the iceman: “I can’t believe we spend that much money on a scraper when you obviously never use it. Coming to league tonight, I drove on roads that had better ice than that sheet. Tat ice isn’t even good enough to chop up to use in a glass of cheap whiskey.” Tat would be wrong. Not only would it be wrong, it would be stupid. We need these guys. Te happier they are working on the ice, the happier we will be playing on that ice. A better response to his question might be, “Felt a little draggy to me. What did your stopwatch say? I was getting 23 with a lot of sweeping.” An even better reply might be, “Felt kinda
heavy to me. Do you have enough time and help to scrape very oſten? Give me a call if you need help. If I can’t do it, I’ll talk to the board and see that you get more help.” Heck, we don’t know. Maybe he had a death in the family or a big wed- ding or maybe he was sick. Offering to help is a more diplomatic way to lodge a complaint. By “diplomatic,” I mean that it might actually make things better instead of worse. Another step to avoid the icemen hating all of
us is to know a little bit about making good ice. I did it for years. Well, that is partially true. I made ice for years. Some years had good ice and some years weren’t so good. I always tried hard. It is a fussy science that is more art than science. Making good ice begins with good water.
Tey now have ionic purifiers that do a great job of filtering, but even those benefit from starting with good water. A nice floor comes next. Flat is good. A flat floor can give you good curling ice with 2,000 gallons. You can do it without a flat floor, but it will take over 10,000 gallons. Even if your water is 99.9 percent pure, the impurities start to add up when you get into big gallons. In addition, thin ice is easier to keep consistent and predictable. Paint it and lay your circles … install
your hacks … and then start to scrape and scrape and scrape and scrape. Don’t make the amateur- ish mistake of using poor water below your paint; thinking that the paint will serve as a barrier to the impurities. It doesn’t. All of that plus keeping the machinery run-
ning and keeping everything spotlessly clean as they go along. It’s a lot of work. Even if done well, it doesn’t always mean great ice. Te condition of the rocks can have a huge effect. Te weather outside can have a big effect if the building isn’t extremely good. Your scraper blade needs to be close to perfect. Your curlers need to wear clean shoes and keep their hands off the ice. It is not an easy job. So, we can all make things better by not bark-
ing at icemen like they were servants. Start by having a discussion and asking questions. Of- fer to help or to get him help. Put him in con- tact with one of the USCA’s excellent icemakers. Tose guys love to talk ice and will help any club that asks. I started out kidding about Herr Kolesar treat-
ing her columnists in a way that would make Abe Lincoln blush. I’m not kidding when I say that I’ve seen people speaking to their iceman in a way that would make Abe blush. Tat isn’t going to do anybody any good. It certainly isn’t going to make the ice better. Get them some help or some good advice. Let’s treat these guys to the respect that they deserve or we may have to make the ice ourselves. Even if they are responsible for almost every shot I ever missed, I don’t think I want to go back to making ice again. Te curlers were always complaining. For the Good of the Game:
I am beginning to grow envious of those head-
ing out to summer-spiels. Tey are a blast. I’d get a horrid head cold going from the frosty ice to the steamy outdoors, but it was worth it. Check into them if you get a chance. Tey are wonderful for beginners, so bring one along. Ben Tucker … or just Tuck, if you prefer. n Editor's note to Mom & Dad: Tuck will kill me
if I correct the spelling of my first name in his col- umns. I will now start calling him Bean Tucker.
USA Curling (( 39
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