Pondering
Meeting the Easter Bunny All Grown Up
sugary-looking egg. It had a cellophane window that revealed some sort of rural scene inside; I guessed it might be Ireland. Over the years, I got my share of jelly beans, chocolate rabbits and marshmallow eggs, and eventually I grew up and realized I
I
Sunny S.C. Women’s Retreat May 18 - 20, 2012
BY BILL FARLEY ORIGINAL ART BY ART VALERO
could get the same stuff, plus that weird green fake grass, at most super- markets. Alas, the poor Bunny had lost much of his luster. Who would have thought that the big guy would eventually hop back into my life? Decades later, my wife was playing mah-jongg, so I de- cided to wet my whistle at my favorite Mount Pleasant watering spot. I bellied up to the bar, ordered a pint and checked out the sparse crowd. To my amazement, two stools away was a large man – sort of – in a trench coat, with big ears and what appeared to be very long whiskers. Taking a shot in the dark, I asked, “Are you the Easter Bunny?” “Who’s askin’?” he responded in a rabbit-like manner. I told him I hadn’t seen him in decades but always appreciated his kind- ness in delivering goodies that kids – some of them, anyway – appreciate. This seemed to cheer him up, and he even admitted that he enjoyed play- ing an integral role in the planet’s spring festivities. We chatted about his job and I learned a lot – maybe more than I wanted to know. “Santa Claus has this image of working on his own, delivering presents to kids around the world. Hah! Never going to happen. He’s built an organization just like ours – tens of thousands of associates who do the real work while he takes the credit,” the big guy told me. “I’m the current head Easter Bunny, although I’m probably not the one you met years ago. He might have been my father or my uncle. I’m just not that old.” He told me he had thousands of descendants, most of them employees of his not-for-profit Easter Bunny Enterprises, Inc. “It’s great having a family-owned and operated company dedicated
to spreading joy among kids,” he said. “We’ve been a positive force for happiness, although I’ve had a few disappointments. For example, I’ve always resented Peter Cottontail. He had a song written about him and, frankly, he was a lousy worker. On the other hand, his sisters Mopsy and Flopsy have been terrific. Mopsy is our senior vice president and Flopsy is our CFO.” Emboldened, I asked the Bunny what he did in the off-season. “A great deal of my time is spent planning for the next season,” he
answered. “For a few years, I supplemented my income by working for a big insurance company. For a while I thought I was in line to become
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FIRST MET THE EASTER BUNNY AT AGE 4, WHEN my mother dressed me up and took me to a department store to visit with him up close and personal. To be honest, I was a little intimidated. He was about 6 feet, 2 inches tall, a lot bigger than any rabbit I’d been exposed to, and he didn’t say anything. He just patted me on the head and gave me a little bag with a
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