DEFINING FEATURE: Carries food in canvas backpacks waterproofed with black garbage bags. Slowly evolving toward use of water- proof nylon packs.
MARKINGS: Brightly-coloured tie-dyed shirt advertising rock and roll band that broke up before she was born. Often displays a wet pos- terior from the insidious dripping of invariably wet packs.
HABITAT: Pitches A-frame tents on designated campsites. Prefers sites with large fire circles for sing-alongs. Travels the same well-marked portage trails used previous summers by older brothers and sisters.
FOOD: Gorp, roasted marshmallows, pancakes, liberal use of juice crystals to mask the taste of Javex-tainted water carried in four-litre jugs.
BEHAVIOUR: Travels in large groups in slowly leaking Grummans. Struggles on longer por- tages as thin leather pack straps cause painful bisection of collarbone from shoulder blade. Protects food from wildlife by constructing elaborate systems to suspend packs from over- hanging trees, but only for the first night.
LIFE SPAN: Short. Ends soon after parents stop paying for camp.
DEFINING FEATURE: Carries food in a large blue barrel that sways from side to side with each step.
MARKINGS: White band around eyes caused by wearing wrap-around sunglasses all day.
HABITAT: Pitches geodesic dome tents on riverbank campsites. Barrel backs are steadily colonizing the continent’s most prestigious rivers.
FOOD: Energy bars, muesli, stir fries, filtered water carried in tinted Nalgenes.
BEHAVIOUR: Travels in small groups of high- intensity trippers in impact-resistant acryloni- trile-butadiene-styrene canoes. Relies heavily on technology to conquer outdoors. May be found wandering off a trail in search of a GPS signal. Spends the off-season cruising downtown gear stores in search of social interaction.
LIFE SPAN: Medium. Ends when gear budget is redirected to mortgage payments.
C ANOE ROOT S n 37
Subspecies:
Backpackis familiaris (Vernacular: Pack rat)
Subspecies: Barrelium velocis (Vernacular: Barrel backs)
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