Marriage Tools How to Have a Stress-Free Christmas
BY BOB AND YVONNE TURNBULL
Are you like us in that one of the many things we enjoy during this holiday time is the music? We pull out all the old-time Christmas favorites and start playing them the day after Thanksgiving. One of the songs we enjoy is Andy Williams’ holiday theme song, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.”
But have you noticed that along with being wonderful it can also be a very stressful time for many families? There is the pressure of buying gifts, decorating our home, putting up lights, sending cards, cooking and baking, attending parties, having houseguests. To be honest with you there have been a few past Christmas times that we couldn’t wait for them to be over.
What a shame, when Christmas should be a time of joyous celebration. We read about that in the angel’s statement to the shepherds of Bethlehem, “I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people” (Luke 2:10). God had and continues to have great news for all of us and it is that God loves us so much that he came to earth as a human so we could get to know him and love him. That is something to celebrate.
So to help us enjoy this celebration and to make our family’s Christmas a stress-free zone, here are a few tips for the Christmas Holidays. Discuss Expectations
When expectations go unspoken, conflict can occur. To overcome this, have a family meeting as soon as possible and develop a plan. Discuss, pray and be in agreement as to where and with whom you are spending Christmas and how many activities you as a family will be involved in. Use a family calendar to organize activities and stay on track. Keep in mind to not schedule anything on certain days. Leave it open for spontaneity or chill time.
Don’t Go Into Debt For Christmas Gifts Set a budget and stick to it. Nothing is more stressful than when the bills start arriving in January and you are struggling to make the payments for stuff that has already been laid aside or forgotten. In our family we agree upon an amount of money for gifts and then we cut that dollar amount in half. Half goes towards buying each family member a gift and the other half is used for buying gifts for less privileged children in our own community. It helps us keep in mind that Christmas is about giving, not just receiving.
Extend Grace To Difficult Family Members When we come together as family we often idealize family relationships and think they will be “different” this year.” If we are realistic about them we will be more relaxed and can have a better reaction to possible negative situations. Learn to practice what is
taught in Colossians 4:6, “Let your conversations be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” When your sister criticizes your cooking, simply smile and extend grace and forgiveness. When your uncle goes off about your Christian beliefs, don’t argue. Diffuse him with a smile and say, “Well I can see you feel very strongly about your views” and then change the subject.
Recharge Your Batteries
Make getting enough sleep a priority, or you will not have the energy or mood to enjoy the holidays. Do not overindulge in foods high in sugar and fat. One small bite can satisfy your sweet tooth. Increase your intake of vegetables and fruits as they contain the vitamins and minerals that help reduce stress. If you want to increase your energy, get up off the couch and get moving. Go for a walk or to the gym, park the car a distance from the store entrance and take the stairs instead of the elevator. Pick what you like, but get moving.
Spend Time With Jesus When you do this in the midst of your busy schedule He will help you keep your priorities in line and others will sense His presence in you and be drawn to Him. What a great gift to give others this Christmas season.
Residents of the Coachella Valley, Bob and Yvonne Turnbull are a husband-and-wife speaking team who speak on relationships – primarily marriage and family – at churches, conference centers and colleges throughout the United States and Canada. They are available for ministry here in the Coachella Valley when not on the road. Between the two of them they have authored nine books with their latest ones being, TeamMates: Building Your Marriage To Complete, Not Compete; Marriage Mentors: Guiding And Encouraging Couples Toward A Healthy Marriage, and I Take Thee To Be My Spouse. Their e-mail address is
btmin@aol.com. Their website is
http://www.turnbullministries.org.
December 2011
page 19
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