the “monkey mind” constantly ruminating on what could go wrong. Paying attention to fear around practical issues like not being able to pay bills is helpful because it can keep us from being reckless, such as buying an unneeded luxury item although our mortgage payment looms. But letting false fear prevent us from following a dream, ending an unhealthy relationship or leaving a toxic job can predispose us to illness. Fear is the emotional equivalent of pain in the body. Attend to it when it arises; try to understand what it is telling you and see what’s in need of healing.
What are some effective ways to defang false fear? Ultimately, we need to come into the right relationship with uncertainty; it’s the gateway to possibility. People often think that fear provides protection, when our intuition, which typically requires a relaxed state of mind, is a far more effective protector. There have been studies about doctors following their hunches to a patient’s underlying condition, leading to life-saving diagnoses.
How can we cultivate courage, curiosity and resilience, rather than feed our fears? Cultivating a spiritual practice such as mindfulness helps put a pause between a feeling like fear and the reaction that might ensue. You learn to sit with uncomfortable feelings and recognize the story you are spinning in your mind about what’s happening. It also means letting go of expectations when things don’t go as planned. Fear is my cue to activate a practice of surrender; to turn something over to the universe. I will also ask for help to calm my heart and let go of attachments. For me, this life-changing practice means I now trust the mystery more than my mind. I trust the unknown more than science and logic. The latter may be useful tools when doing taxes or a research paper, but I don’t trust them to be the best navigation system of my life or help me in a crisis. Psychology isn’t enough to address fear,
which comes with the territory if you think that we are just fl esh robots programmed to maximize self-interest, alone in a hostile universe. Once you learn to see the possibilities and hand over the wheel to a greater, benign organizing intelligence, something unwinds in the nervous system and we relax into the wonder of mystery.
Connect with freelance writer April Thompson at
AprilWrites.com.
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