BETTER CHANGE STATESIDE


affected by gambling harms there were severe debts but it is the impact of legacy harms emotionally, mentally and physically on the health and wellbeing for myself and those around me that led to gain a better education and awareness of gambling disorder. “I had no idea of what gambling disorder was, it’s components, complexities but now looking back no preparation for the devastating consequences it would wreak on our everyday family life. “The assumption amongst the masses, as it was mine – he


would just want help. “For those of us associated with gambling harms the reality and understanding is so very different; the task can be great. “The truth is you’re left riding a roller coaster you never asked


to get on.” Family members say when exposed to the harms it can be


overwhelming emotionally and physically, with considerable financial consequences for families and practical implications too. It can lead to significant strains on relationships and pressures in the workplace. The stigma involved can prevent those in need seeking out


support or talking about their difficulties. The tide however is changing, with mental health services and


problem gambling treatment provision all building on their support services for affected others. Experts in the field are actively encouraging affected others to


reach out and are promoting more positive communication. An integral part of breaking the stigma line is through normalising the conversation for both problem gamblers and their family members to help recognise recovery is attainable. A report commissioned by Gamble Aware ‘Families Living with


Problem Gambling: Impacts, Coping Strategies and Help Seeking’ in 2018 highlighted the experience of gambling related harms across multiple domains and how families outlined the need for help and support to assist in both addressing their loved one’s problem gambling and their own needs. The findings illustrated the suffering wide ranging, impacting


family members’ finances, work and/or education, health, emotional or psychological state and relationships. Family members reported significant and sustained emotional and psychological harms, because of their loved one’s problem gambling.


Of those surveyed, 99 per cent of participants said their loved


one’s problem gambling had harmed their health, from stress related health issues to loss of sleep, while some had even resorted to self-harm. Support services have recognised more responsive measures


are needed for vulnerable family members and not just the individual gambler. But there are practical steps those affected can take as a means of protecting themselves from further harms. Health professionals recommend a caring and empathetic


approach rather than an aggressive manner when engaging with a problem gambler. It is important for the family members to recognise the issues will not go away without intervention. It is advised to communicate feelings openly but with care,


avoiding judgments, confrontation or accusation. But there needs to be firm boundaries on the impact of direct behaviours and the consequences of them, as not to enable an individual to gamble further.


Individuals should be signposted to further professional


support in a measured way and backed with encouragement of support.


Affected others are welcome to make first contact with treatment


provision but the loved one should be encouraged to take the responsibility and ownership for their first steps into recovery. The family members should be able to hold the conversation that gambling problems can be a mental disorder and nothing to be ashamed of. It is important a gambler knows they have healthy peer support to get them through treatment.


A brief guide for an affected other ‘Put on your own breathing mask first…’ You have the right to feel safe, and emotionally and financially secure. It is important to protect yourself from any harm that may arise from your family member or friend’s problem with gambling. • You cannot force your family member or friend to acknowledge that their gambling is a problem.


• You cannot force them to stop gambling. • No matter what you say or do, ultimately the only person who can stop gambling is the gambler.


• The gambling is the problem, not the person. • You are not to blame for their behaviour.


Practical steps for family members If you are financially associated with your loved one who has a gambling disorder, then it is important to protect yourself as well. Signing yourself up to gambling blocks can be helpful as well as opening up and looking into your own credit report accounts and financial history. Put blocks on your own bank cards and accounts - taking control of any joint accounts or even closing them down, as well as managing the household finances. Consider setting up new bank accounts to prioritise your own financial security. In the long run this will help to protect your future and anyone else’s who may be directly affected by the consequences of gambling addiction. • Seek professional advice about how to protect your family’s assets and income.


• Do not lend the gambler money. • Do not pay the gambler’s debts. • Decide if you can manage the gambler’s money. If not, you may need to maintain separate bank accounts and credit cards.


• Remove your name from joint accounts to avoid inheriting the gambler’s debt. A gambling counsellor can help you avoid a bad credit history if you have joint credit or loans with the gambler.


• Take control of finances, for example, organise direct debits for bills, mortgages and regular debits, and limit access to cash.


• Budget and allow each member of the family some spending money, including the problem gambler.


• Check the mail yourself for bills. • Keep records of all finances including assets, income, expenses, contributions and gifts.


• Photocopy (and keep in a safe place) copies of important documents such as house title, marriage and birth certificates, and tax file numbers.


• Don’t sign anything you don’t understand or are not prepared to pay for. • Do not lend personal financial details or credit cards or share ‘pin’ numbers, or leave that information where it can be found.


www.gamily.co.uk www.gamcare.org.uk gamfam.org.uk


FEBRUARY 2022 23


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