WAYNE’S WORLD
For numerous reasons, and mainly for the love of not boring you to death, I wasn’t going to return to the differences of local authorities in respect of allocating Additional Restriction Grants (ARGs) to licensed drivers.
I mean, you’re bored, sitting waiting for work, possibly listening to James O’Brien, why would you want some sad wee man from Cumbria telling you what you already know and making the situation worse? My mission, evidently, is to relieve boredom and not be the boredom, many of you know you’re being screwed over, why should I highlight
it.......again?
Thankfully some local authorities have seen the light during the past month, others haven’t been so generous and others haven’t changed their policies at all.
During this past month of reflection I have listened to various tales and stories, the best of which I bought on Audible. Due to technology, I am able to listen to this through my mobile phone via some new fangled thing my daughter called ‘Bluetooth’.
This month’s choice was Alexi Sayle’s “Stalin ate my home- work”, in which he describes his upbringing in the Anfield area of Liverpool. Sayle’s parents were communists. For the purposes of this article they were definitely not to blame for the qualification criteria of the ARG, although, arguably, they may have well have been.
One chapter that did make my ears prick up was the description Sayle’s parents made of traders such as taxi drivers, commonly known as the self-employed, but in communist circles known as the “petite bourgeoisie”. The petite bourgeoisie, in communist thinking, is a class of people between the bourgeoisie and the proletariat, apparently because they own the means of their production. A semi- autonomous peasantry that politically blow with the wind.
For example, they appear to believe we will agree to send a cab for Mr and Mrs Smith, but if, the Duke of Edinburgh calls, for a trip say to the dog track, well, Mr and Mrs Smith can go phooey, our deference to our betters means the Duke gets the cab.
It is therefore reasonably apparent that local government has been infiltrated by communists. What other reason could there possibly be for so many, predominantly labour controlled local authorities, to ignore the carnage inflicted by the pandemic on the licensed trades.
I know many of you enjoyed my analogy from last month regarding Camberwick Green; letters of complaint and the shattering of childhood illusions do have that type of effect. I won’t disappoint, it turns out that Trumpton Town Hall has been infected by communists and the entire town is now under the grip of the ‘red menace’, occasionally known as Derek Cummins (Liverpool Unite Rep).
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After a series of show trials Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grubb have been executed by firing squad for crimes against the Peoples Republic of Trumpton (PRT). The central committee now running Trumpton has decided that Mr Philby, the driver of the mayor (now known as the supreme leader) should keep his job, for services to the party, after all we can’t have a state without a large black limousine and a suitably attired driver, (what would Camberwick Green think).
Suddenly (and entirely due to international capitalism and globalism), a pandemic hits Trumpton, Mr Toni Antonio, the ice cream man is amongst the first to contract Covid-19 and sadly die a truly horrible death. No more tutti frutti ice cream for the kids of Trumpton.
As you will all be aware, Trumpton is kept going, on the whole, by the self-employed industries, the petite bourgeoisie as the PRT call them. If these trades wither and die, such as Mr Wilkins - the plumber, Miss Lovelace - the hat maker or indeed Mr Walter Harkin - the painter and decorator, who will be there to serve the community when this goddamned capitalist mess is over and done with, they urge the PRT for financial assistance.
A zoom meeting of the PRT takes place, despite Mr Troop (the Town Clerk) wearing his filtered ‘Cat Face’, they decide that Wilkins, Lovelace and Harkin are subversive enemies of the state and party, for merely pointing out that they can’t trade properly, they are arrested and placed in a gulag, they now face a show trial.
The above seems implausible, but as Sherlock Holmes once said: “When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth”. So, either councils have been taken over by Communist revolutionaries or they are deliberately choosing to make people suffer.
As pointed out last month, the ARG policy of Birmingham council is different to the majority of other councils; they chose to interpret who has been affected by the pandemic differently to other local authorities.
I cannot possibly imagine any council disregarding something as important as the taxi and private hire trades on purpose, therefore, and going on from the logic of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, I must regrettably state, those councils haven’t forgotten, they haven’t either (and much to my despair) probably been taken over by communists, it’s a simple if not brutal
answer......they just don’t give a toss, you aren’t that important.
I may be alone with these thoughts, I mean, these metro mayor thingies...... what do they do? What is their point? I’m sure they’re fine upstanding people, but being of Irish descent, it’s almost always the fine upstanding folk you have to keep your eye on. The reason being, according to Shashi Tharoor: “The sun never set on the British empire, because
MARCH 2021
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