IT’S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT
THE MONEY!
I do carry a box of ‘Man Size’ tissues on the back parcel shelf, and rubber gloves for dire emergencies, so the only way forward now was to tell her that I will help with the seat belt and try and be tactful in ‘Operation Snot-String Removal’ before I attempt the mission.
Having grabbed the box of tissues, as I considered that even one or two ‘Man Size’ ones would not be enough, I went round and opened the door and prepared myself for the task. But there was absolutely no way I could have attempted this without ‘Snot-String D#’ and me coming into contact, and by the look of it, it had progressively grown in length and bulk.
The only way to handle this was to be brutely honest so I said to her: “You have a bit of a runny nose dear”. “Really” she said, “Yes” I replied and told her: “I have got some tissues here for you to use.”
So, I pulled out a bunch of tissues and gave them to her and she proceeded to apprehend ‘Snot- String D#’ and catch most of it, and then handed the tissue back to me…. but I told her it would be best to hang onto it.
Great! Mission accomplished and I am able to sort the seat belt out and off we go, almost forgetting to put the meter on. However, as I am driving along, I glance to my left and a new snot-string appears, and slowly starts to drip, and it’s not as if I
PHTM APRIL 2024
can go any faster with these blinking 20mph limits! By the time I got to the destination this ‘Snot-Sting D#’ twin has now attached itself to her coat and the seatbelt!
It’s now time to get her out and finish the job, so I jumped out, opened the boot, grabbed the trolley and went to open the door for her.
She is sitting there having got her purse open, trying to take out a note, whilst at the same time ‘Snot-String D#’ twin continues to flow in the direction of the open purse. So, I said to her: “Don’t worry about the money for this one, you can have this on me”.
She certainly heard that and didn’t argue. I now have to give her some more tissues and get her to tackle ‘Snot-String D#’ twin which she eventually does.
As I reached over to unclip the seatbelt and let it roll back into position with snot stain on it and helped her out of the car, she tried to hand me back the snot-soaked bunch of tissues, but I politely declined and suggested she keeps it in her pocket.
I then had the task of making sure she got into her home safely and she grabbed hold of my arm as she shuffled across the pavement, through the gate and up to her door. I suggested to her that she got her key out whilst I went back for the trolley.
When I got back, she was struggling to get the key out of her purse, so I helped her with this and opened the door, making sure she got in. I then put the trolley inside.
It’s at this point that I sadly reflect on the surroundings, which I won’t go into, and I said goodbye. As I reached to close the door I heard her say: “Thank you.” So I called back: “Take care, hope to see you again”.
Would I take her again….. of course I would. 71
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