INDEPTH
New voices Bright lights. Voices. Terror
In the second of our Conference Diaries, Sarah Simpson, Subject Librarian at the Claude Littner Business School, University of West London, talks about the fear and exhilaration of being a New Voice at CILIP Conference – and the value of overcoming those fears.
I HAVE experienced this kind of terror before
–facingchildbirthforthefirst time, coming round after an operation, that class of thing – but this was another level. Because this time I had an audience. I was on stage giving my very first talk at the recent CILIP Conference. Specifically, the ‘future’ leaders conference. Beyond the bright lights I could see terrifying ranks of brilliant librarians, managers, heads of organisations. All waiting for me to speak. Me, in all my crapness. As a librarian approaching sixty, I can hardly claim to be the future. Nor do I ‘head’ anything or manage anyone. Yep. my imposter syndrome was in full swing.
Just then, one of the other speakers leant towards me. ‘I’m terrified.’ they whispered. Ah. Not just me then.
How did I get here? Sort of accidentally. In my work as a subject librarian at the University of West London, I’m currently mentoring a Level Three apprentice in Library, Archives and Infor- mation, in liaison with the Westminster Adult Education Service. The University of West Lon- don is one of the first HE institutions in the UK to offer this kind of apprenticeship placement. My mentee is hard working, enthusiastic and talented – a delight to work with. But after some weeks into the mentoring, it dawned on me the process wasn’t working very well. This was defi- nitely a ‘me’ problem. Mentoring can be a rather
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nebulous ‘warm fuzzy’ area. My interpretation of the role had been to inform my mentee about as many aspects of librarianship as I could think of each time we met. (A sort of verbal Supermarket Sweep). Basically, I was talking far too much and listening too little.
Reading around the subject, I realised that coaching techniques – rather than mentoring – might be more effective. Coaching focuses on the importance of listening – as well as specific ‘powerful questions’ to get to the heart of what- ever challenges an ‘on-the-job learner’ might be facing. Using these coaching techniques had helped me to become a much better listener – and hopefully a more effective mentor. And I felt that could be worth sharing. However, I didn’t see myself as a ‘leader’ (and certainly not a ‘future one’) so I almost didn’t apply. I felt I simply wasn’t the kind of speaker that CILIP would be looking for. Applying was down to my teenage son, who said “Go on mum. I never understand people who don’t apply for things. What have you got to lose?”
So, I did and – to my great surprise my talk was accepted. And in fairness, the CILIP folk couldn’t have been more supportive. Conference organ- iser Louise Greener coached me via a zoom call with such professionalism and warmth it felt like talking to a friend. John Vincent, our chair, was a beacon of calm who put me instantly at ease. But still... here I was... on stage. No way out now.
July-August 2023
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