such experiences?
8. With your people, develop sales techniques that can disengage their fear of rejection.
9. Have your people decide how many cold-call con- versations are required to find a prospect, how many prospects are needed to gain a new account, and therefore how many calls in total are needed to get one new client.
QUICK TIPS FOR YOUR
TRAINING SESSION Following are examples of beliefs regarding the value of failure that can ensure your success. • The more I fail, the more I succeed. Failure is merely part of the process of succeeding.
• There are only two ways of failing. One is by not trying, and the other is by quitting.
• Failure gives me insight into where change might occur. • Failure is an experience that was less than I expected – in which I must know what I have gained.
• I never see failure as failure but only as an opportunity to try new ideas. • I learn more from my failures than my successes. • I am paid for the number of times I fail. Ask your people why rejection and negative feedback might have more value than positive feedback and ac- ceptance. Following are examples of beliefs regarding the value of rejection as part of gaining acceptance. • Negative feedback is the information I need to make changes in my course of direction.
• If the rejection is invalid, then I cannot take it personally. • Rejection, rather than being humiliating, renews my humility.
• My self-esteem is not based on the reactions of others but on my own sense of value. • Rejection reminds me not to take myself too seriously. • People who are saying no to me are speeding me on to someone who needs me.
• If rejection will happen, let it be from someone important. • I imagine rejection as raindrops off a duck’s feathers. • I raise my self-image and fly above the storm. Our beliefs determine our attitude toward failure and
rejection, though beliefs and attitudes are separate sub- jects. While we might take rejection personally – because we believe we need the acceptance of others to accept ourselves – we can still develop an attitude that overrides any self-defeating assumptions and beliefs. Our beliefs affect our attitude; our attitude influences
the way we perform; and our performance determines our results. Attitude is critical, but attitude is not everything: Performance is everything. If we think negatively, we can still perform positively. Before we discuss how successful people react to rejec-
tion, consider the two negative reactions to rejection: 1) avoiding the situation, backing off, and retreating and 2) counterattacking, becoming more aggressive, and over- reacting. If we understand which of these two reactions we are most likely to use, we might then realize our own solu- tion to dealing with people who are resistant to us. One way of seeing which way you tend to perform when under pressure is to remember the “Peanuts” comic strip and answer one question: If you had a choice of being Charlie Brown or Lucy, who would you prefer to be? If you prefer to be Charlie, you are the warm, sensitive person who establishes a friendship with your customers, but – for fear of rejection – you might avoid any conflict, such as confronting objections or closing, and your results might be less than desirable. If, instead, you prefer to be Lucy, you are probably the
strong, assertive person who quickly establishes your position of authority, but you might become so aggres- sive that people find you threatening and you damage relationships. Charisma is the trait of balancing opposite qualities into a personality with which most people can identify. In creat- ing this ideal balance, answer two questions: What do you believe to be Charlie’s best quality? What do you feel is Lucy’s primary strength? If your answers are sensitivity and aggressiveness, then the ideal reaction to rejection is to be aggressively sensitive or relentlessly compassionate or perseveringly pleasant.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS Can you really change limiting beliefs that are based on experience? Most people are convinced their beliefs are completely valid because they can remember times when those beliefs proved true. However, because beliefs influ- ence the way people see the world, they were probably ignoring evidence that ran contrary to the belief, while noticing evidence that confirmed it. How do you know when a belief is not a law of nature? Any law that, at its base, contains the phrase “and because of that, I feel bad” (or something of the sort) is a belief that can be changed. Such beliefs are attempts to put meaning into a situation and then use that meaning to produce an emotional state. While there are situations (such as a death in the family) where sadness is appropriate, being rejected in a sales situation is simply not all that important. What’s the key to dealing positively with rejection? Five words sum it up: “Do not take it personally.” Things happen. Customers have bad days. The econ- omy goes up and down. You have the choice to make those events an excuse for failure or you can work on the four things that you have under your control: your beliefs, your attitude, your emotions, and your perfor- mance. Take care of those four, and the fifth – good results – will take care of itself.
SELLING POWER JULY/AUGUST 2025 | 27 © 2025 SELLING POWER
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