There are three reasons we might take rejection per-
sonally, and each relates directly to the pyramid of sales objectives: • Frequency: How much failure and rejection are you able to handle before you start taking the negative feedback too much to heart? How many prospecting calls can you make before you become discouraged? How many times can you contact a prospect who, while qualified, is always negative toward you, before you begin taking it personally? The lower the number for you personally, the harder it is for you to contact people and develop your client base. And if you aren’t able to make enough calls to find a prospect, you might become discouraged and stop trying.
• Emotional Involvement: How emotionally involved can we become with someone before we believe the person knows us so well that anything they say might be true – causing us to feel vulnerable and defensive in our behavior? This is why some people can send out promotional material but have difficulty making cold calls. Or, when they do make calls, they are reluctant to get an appointment to meet people personally. Or, they may enjoy meeting people – and they easily develop friendships and perform the necessary follow- up – but they avoid asking for a decision for fear they might confront buyer’s remorse.
• Perceived Importance: If we believe someone is more important than we are, then our respect for that per- son will cause us to feel that whatever they say might be true. The idea that such an important person might reject us can cause us to avoid contacting people of this level. This is the reason salespeople call on people who fall within their own self-image, and they have dif- ficulty taking their success to a higher level.
VALID AND INVALID REJECTION Recognize that there are two kinds of rejection: valid and invalid. If we identify which of the two we are confronting, we will know how to react appropriately. If the rejection is valid, you’ll want to know what you did to irritate your prospect. Their critical comments are the information you need to make the necessary adjustments in your strategy and selling skills. If the rejection is invalid – and the prospect is just using you to release frustration – then you have to be concerned about what is causing the anger rather than taking the unkindness personally. If we believe we need to achieve and be accepted by
others to feel good about ourselves, then we will be vul- nerable to failure and rejection. Successful people thrive on failure and rejection because their self-esteem is based on their own sense of value. They believe they can gain more from failure than from success, and they believe that negative feedback can be more valuable than positive
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feedback. This is why they always feel good about them- selves regardless of whether they fail or succeed or are loved or rejected.
QUICK TIPS FOR YOUR NEXT
SALES SESSION When you’re confronted by rejection, try thinking these thoughts. They may help you enjoy failure and be amused by rejection. • I love rejection. • Negative feedback ignites my energy. • Hostile people amuse me. • I attack my fears. • Failure sharpens my objectivity. • Adversity makes me more resilient. • Failure is a maturing process. • I do better under pressure. • Stress stimulates my creativity.
SALES MANAGER’S TRAINING GUIDE Below are nine practical steps to take at your next sales meeting to help improve your team’s ability to turn rejec- tion into a sales advantage. 1. Prior to the meeting, develop a presentation that re- views the key points of the training module, and also develop a handout for each of your people.
2. Open the meeting by asking your people to decide on which part of the sales objectives pyramid they will focus.
3. Ask your people to think of why they might have dif- ficulty achieving these objectives.
4. Discuss how the fear of failure and rejection can cause us to become defensive and avoid our objectives. Now get more specific with your people.
5. Focus on those sales activities that cause their great- est difficulty, such as cold calling on the phone, gaining the administrative assistant’s cooperation in speaking with the decision maker, confronting objec- tions, or closing.
6. Have each person share a success story about what they did to convert rejection into acceptance. Prepare a brief presentation on how thoughts determine emo- tions. Create a visual with the following: • Thinking that: I will succeed Causes us to feel: Excited and enthusiastic Creating performance that: Perseveres and stays right on target
• Thinking that: I do not want to be rejected Causes us to feel: Apprehensive and defensive Creating performance that: Seeks to take on less-threatening responsibility
7. Ask your people to write down what they believe suc- cessful people think about regarding failure and rejec- tion. What causes them to do better when confronting
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