Q: A:

I’m wondering if you know what the proper etiquette is

these days about guys holding the door open for gals, or let- ting them go first? I can’t tell anymore! Curious in CAL.

I have no idea either! Are you an older vin- tage citizen of planet

earth like me? Then you would remember how it ‘used to be,’ and wonder now, since things are no longer dictated by the rule that a male should always put a female first in that way. But then, I recall when things in my social world were clearly

getting confusing. It was back in college,

changing, and attending


Berkeley, getting my master’s degree –late 60’s. It happened one weekend when I had two dates with different fellas. My Friday night date drove us to a movie and parked. Used to be- ing on my own, I opened the car door, getting out. My date exclaimed that

wait for him to open the door and help me out

I needed to -like a gen-

tleman. Oh, I was chagrined. And felt a bit silly, since I was strong enough to get out on my own.

But then again, I

felt kind of special that he was treating me ‘like a lady.;’ OK. Saturday night came round. My date drove us to a restaurant. Having learned my lesson the previous eve- ning, I sat and waited for him to come around to usher me out. He stood beside the driv- er’s door for a minute or so then exclaimed, “What’s the matter? Aren’t you going to get out?!”


Things have stayed com- in

that way. And

with millions of Americans plugged into their phones ev- erywhere you go, it’s worse in my not-so-humble opinion.

Real friendship, like real poetry, is extremely rare - and precious as a pearl. Tahar Ben Jelloun UPBEAT TIMES, INC. • MAY 2019 • Pg 23

Living the Upbeat Life... A common


rence for me is going in or out of the bank or grocer’s, and the person in front of me oblivious that I am behind. Seldom does anyone check, or hold the door open for me, and when my arms are toting bags, it’s an- noying. When some- one

does hold the

door for me, I make a big point of thank- ing them.

Like it’s a

big deal. Same with cars that actually slow down and stop for me at a crosswalk! I feel obliged to wave and mouth my thanks that they didn’t run me over.


So, you ask about protocol, official “etiquette”? I’d like to reply this way, that there is a


JOKES & Humor #6 by Marcia Singer of Santa Rosa, CA. ~ ~

word in our language that could cover all these kinds of inci- dents –plus whether to hold a door open for a senior citizen, or whether to let some- one with a limp get in line ahead of you, or ask a child to use a quiet ‘indoor voice’ in the library or gro- cer’s. Or not talk on your cell phone at close range of some- one else’s ears while shopping the narrow isles at a thrift store.

That word is cour-

tesy. It suggests being polite, ...continued on page 25

So these two roaches, Tom and Oscar, are hanging out next to a dumpster enjoy- ing a snack. “Hey Tom” said Oscar to his friend,

“You know that restaurant down the block? I went there yesterday to pick up some scraps, and I couldn’t believe how clean it was, I could practically see my reflection through the shiny waxed floor.” “Oscar” hol- lered Tom spitting the food out of his mouth, “please not while I am eating!!”

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